Miscellaneous: Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be... - FML

By Unluggee - 04/06/2009 10:38 - United Kingdom

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

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vote type 1 188 820

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Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML

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By pist - 13/05/2018 01:30

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By Harry - 29/11/2009 22:53 - United States

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By PhantomShitter - 29/11/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I read on Facebook that someone shat outside our block of flats. I laughed and showed it to my friend who was with me. She turned to me, and said, "That was you, we were locked outside last night and you needed to pee, but a poo slipped out." FML

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By HeMayHaveSomeIssues - 28/02/2014 20:01 - Denmark

Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially, "Kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

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By crankg - 21/10/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

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By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

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By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

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All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

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TOP COMMENTS

shananigans 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:09

Yeah... You have to know you deserve this. Besides how did you not notice the tree was in the way??

gaby904 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:10

Good. YDI YDI = You Deserved It You Damn Idiot

Comments

TheLizardKing 0

Friday 5 June 2009 2:45

You suck.

acnyc23 0

Friday 5 June 2009 2:57

Ha ha good for you!

kathrynnewton 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:01

Hahahahahaha!! That's what you get

thumb_biter 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:07

obviously a ydi after the first sentence.

nomegusta 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:22

how did you not see a tree???

ryanr21 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:27

haha u shouldn't really have done that, but we have cranky neighbours, too. I get it, but YDI, it was your fault.

eltoroloco_fml 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:35

Atleast urine is sterile... How's it feel to give urself a golden shower?

cshell 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:46

YDI for being a dickfaced dumbass

marrz 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:53

Aint Karma a bitch?

godofkratos 0

Friday 5 June 2009 3:58

Haha i hate my neighbor to

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Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML

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Today, my boyfriend suggested I try on some old clothes, after weeks of eating better and exercising. The good news: they fit again, and are even a little bit loose. The bad news: somehow, I look fatter now than I did before I started trying to lose weight. FML

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Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML

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Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

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Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML

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Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

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