Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Osmness 0
The question is... Why were you running from the cops?
abbytequiere 9
And that is why you must look before you leap...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (202)
Deroni76 5
YDI for running from the cops in the first place.
ajeppsen 25
I smell bullshit
ConradKay 13
You know it will always be YDI when it says "as I was running from the cops".
DohIMissed 6
Why were you running from the cops? Can't choose between FYL or YDI.
EliteSocks 7
That's bs. U r probably just trying to act all cool by saying u ran from da cops
trollface2000 12
Running from the cops because?
anonymous100000 17
did you really expect to get sympathy from this? I can't even believe you got as many FYLs as you did. YDI. and I hope they find you based off this FML.
cantfixme36 28
Well I guess that's what happens when you break the law, huh?
mthurston 14
Don't you know if you run from the cops you just get to jail tired? And thorny in this case?
LOLS_ftw 11
This would be a great FML to follow up on...