Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML
Today, I came home to see my dad sitting in his car. I thought it'd be fun to sneak up on him. He was filming himself on his phone, ranting about "fighting like hell" and "a storm coming." He had his baseball cap on backwards, probably because the front had the name of our town in Wales on it. FML
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML
Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML
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Top comments
skilova4lifezzz 19
Well put down your beer and go stop them, god damn stupid rednecks.
Nyx_fml 23
It's okay, OP. Your country's redneck TV shows will always be overshadowed by Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Duck Dynasty.
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Comments (80)
Wolstenholme 11
'Urway
Bano360 25
Thank you, I was trying to find something like that to say.
mmyers88 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Are you sure you don't live in America?
golden_warrior 23
Hhahah, that's funny because all Americans are red necks. **rolls eyes**
outoftown 26
Not all rednecks emigrated to America. Just a lot of them.
golden_warrior 23
Hey, they seem like they are enjoy ling life and that's all it matters.
ColbyGB 13
Country MUST be country wide...
EvilLittleMan 23
It could be worse. He could be chasing sheep in his silky nightwear.
Kiagg2002 7
I agree
cberry427 8
Oh!!! A Scotsman clad in kilt, left a bar, one evening fair, and you could tell by how he walked, that he'd drunk more than his share..........
clemsi 20
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street. Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
perdix 29
I'll bet your uncle said something positive about Sweden. HDI!
Silvinomiae 20
Human Development Index? Positive about Sweden? You mean, like; "Great neighbours those swedes have!"?
MooseKnuckle5150 13
Buy your dad a beer for me.
zawesomee 14
Why hello there, fellow norwegian! *excited because I've never ever seen an FML from Norway*
Dthsapprntc 23
There were two FML's from Norway yesterday.
zawesomee 14
I wouldn't know that, I'm on the app and it never shows location on my phone.
chibichan21 6
well danm....not too far from the truth huh?
buckdharma 37
Does he know all the words? Can I get a big "hell yeah."