Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML
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Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML
Today, I came home to see my dad sitting in his car. I thought it'd be fun to sneak up on him. He was filming himself on his phone, ranting about "fighting like hell" and "a storm coming." He had his baseball cap on backwards, probably because the front had the name of our town in Wales on it. FML
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML
Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML
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Top comments
skilova4lifezzz 19
Well put down your beer and go stop them, god damn stupid rednecks.
Nyx_fml 23
It's okay, OP. Your country's redneck TV shows will always be overshadowed by Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Duck Dynasty.
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Comments (80)
nonnified 18
This would still make sense if you replaced 'Norway' with 'Texas'
thatguynamedsky 32
and I thought only 'merica had the rednecks
alyKATANA1 12
God bless America lmfao
rameses1210 18
You are nationalistic rednecks
brokenwaffle 10
So Holland is just like a cold and wet Texas then huh?
themetalstickman 19
Murica
ChoolyBooly 32
I hope you got a video of it all so that when your dad is sober you can show him.
PsudoAnon 20
A message from America: "One of us! One of us! One of us!"
tanman230 10
us mericans have lived with this for a long time, best thing is to embrace it. "ugg America is full of fat redneck idiots" hell yeah and don't you forget it ************. *proceeds to chug a mtn dew while shooting a rifle.
Nathan Jackson 10
Somehow, I don't want to hear the context for this incident.