Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML
Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML
Today, after I invited my friend to a movie and she cancelled on me because she had to study, I obviously agreed and cancelled our tickets, I was scrolling through Instagram stories and came across hers, and saw she was with one of her friends in that same movie theater. FML
Today, I was sitting behind a cute girl in class. She said she liked musicals, so I played The Greatest Showman at full blast on my headphones. She turned around and moved seats. FML
Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to see a movie by myself and ended up sitting next to a couple on a first date, who spent the whole movie whispering to each other. FML
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Top comments
Rei_Ayanami 18
Is it a "I love you!" stalk or a "When nobody else is around, you're dead." kind of stalking?
c420racer 13
Crazy girls are the best in bed :)
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Comments (158)
simple_idiot_6 6
I would of tried to slowly inch away when she wasn't looking, or make up some excuse. Maybe next time ask for a refund for a different time(if possible)?
WarByrd 0
i love puny guy bitches, they rely on law enforcement to save them from a female. i however make retards not want to be around me, much simpler. oh yeah i also carry a .45 and a pair of hand cuffs (not the cute fuzzy type) just be unpleasant with retards and they will not be happy to see you anywhere.
st0815 9
OP is a woman, you are a moron.
jsnakes12 0
did she have a knife in her pocket or did she just want to go to bed with you
falsekingdom 0
@23 haha he better hide any knifes.......unless she brings her own ;)
Hewron 0
As a lesbian since forever, I'm glad I haven't picked up one of these stalkerish types. They sound like killer turtles who attack your HP. ):
Ajaxxx 4
Like any SANE Straight DUDE, keep her as a On-The-Go-****-Buddy. You're at work and you're bored Speed dial her and bam you **** her in your washroom stall at work. You're bored late at night not knowing what to do , speed dial her. BAM **** her silly and chuck her. You're watching a boring movie in the theater, speed dial her, BAM **** her IN the Theater. Get my point? IF she uggo who cares. Not like you can find anyone else who will **** just about any where since shes crazily into you.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
OP is a women not a dude.
jroxursox1 10
And you're also a pig and bam an asshole too!!
eldiablo2196 0
call the policia
fanbat 0
#18, please learn proper english
XxdarkangelxX13 0
poor u:P on the bright side she might attack anyone who tries to hurt u;) lol Still that's creepy :P
CrazyChickenCat 0
Unrequited love. Ain't it creepy?