Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML
Thors_Hammer9999 tells us more.
Hi no I wasn't stuffed up anymore, my sinuses will drain twice a year, once in the spring and once in the fall for about two or three days, I also tend to suffer from sinusitis and sinus infections. She showed up the day I was finally cleared up and was just loafing around the house. While I'd kept thinking I needed to take the trash out because it was gross just sitting there, but I wasn't expecting company, like I said she stopped by for a surprise visit. I was able to clear things up with my Grandpa, the man knows me better then anyone and he was just checking in on me out of concern because as he said "it didn't sound like me." It was also my idiot brother who spread it around after overhearing my ma conveying the story to my dad later that day. I have had several facebook messages and phone calls asking about it but most of the people who know me are aware of my sinus issues, especially after last spring when my sinuses got infected because of them and my face was all swollen....We're all still trying to figure out how my mom is surprised by it....Idk, guess she figures I'll grow out of it eventually. Finally while I have taken some good natured ribbing about it all and probably will for a while yet my mom has gotten it even worse and is incredibly embarrassed about it all....maybe it's enough so next spring she'll remember my sinus issues for once.
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mauskau 36
I'm so glad my parents don't care about that kind of stuff. Can't she see your runny nose and realise its getting cold?
DenBriZel 31
You're mom's being kinda nosey.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
misUnderstood23 9
What is your mom thinking? Tell her the truth. Poor u OP!
Rapunzel1974 23
This is one of the down sides of religion: it inspires people who have filthy minds and hearts to project their own imaginary evils into the world. They do this by making up malicious lies about others and then spread those lies around. Frequently the "sin" a person complains about exists nowhere outside of his or her own filthy mind and heart. Rather than worrying about the sins of others, which might not actually exist, a person is generally better off cleaning up his or her own perspective.
worldclassrager 41
Well you should be stuffed up...that should make the point it's not from masturbating...and does it matter if you ********** anyway?
meouch 6
Jumping to conclusions...
j_cat187 20
If you're happy and you know it, that's a sin.
Thors_Hammer9999 17
Hi no I wasn't stuffed up anymore, my sinuses will drain twice a year, once in the spring and once in the fall for about two or three days, I also tend to suffer from sinusitis and sinus infections. She showed up the day I was finally cleared up and was just loafing around the house. While I'd kept thinking I needed to take the trash out because it was gross just sitting there, but I wasn't expecting company, like I said she stopped by for a surprise visit. I was able to clear things up with my Grandpa, the man knows me better then anyone and he was just checking in on me out of concern because as he said "it didn't sound like me." It was also my idiot brother who spread it around after overhearing my ma conveying the story to my dad later that day. I have had several facebook messages and phone calls asking about it but most of the people who know me are aware of my sinus issues, especially after last spring when my sinuses got infected because of them and my face was all swollen....We're all still trying to figure out how my mom is surprised by it....Idk, guess she figures I'll grow out of it eventually. Finally while I have taken some good natured ribbing about it all and probably will for a while yet my mom has gotten it even worse and is incredibly embarrassed about it all....maybe it's enough so next spring she'll remember my sinus issues for once.
Thors_Hammer9999 17
I am the OP btw
RoseBlack123 37
It's good that people understand your problem. It would've sucked if no one believed you
sarahmb98 8
My question is, why does everyone care so much about your problem that they are willing to Facebook message you? Wouldn't that subject be a little private? This whole situation seems a little weird to me...
AntiPrude 26
Hey OP you should really consider seeing a ear/nose/throat specialist, i used to get sinusitis very often, taking antibiotics every time, and some times it caused my tonsils to get infected by going down the back of my throat, and i also snored and had sleep apnoea. The specialist took x-rays and found out i had a deviated septum. and small sinus holes. I had a small operation in which the doctor corrected the deviation, and removed some bone up from my sinus area. I havent had sinusitis since, or any nasal or throat infections, and i dont snore or have any apnoea! Havent ever had yellowy mucus from my nose at all, and i can breath much better through my nose too. Look into it OP!
slooby_fml 25
I agree, 81. Why does everyone care so much, even if you were masturbating a lot?
SailorSolaris 43
Nothing's really private anymore.
Dman131 10
I hate how people can just assume stuff without knowing what happened before they came into the picture...
n00b4liciou5 10
How do you even?... With the tissues?... And the stuff?... And the Skiddilyboop?...
tochiotome 14
Hmm I didn't know you could ********** with your nose…
falcon1987 10
Karma sucks. She shouldn't have been so hypocritical. Although you weren't, it isn't a sin to pleasure yourself because 1) you're not committing adultery and 2) not portraying another god in his place... Just 10 seconds in heaven.