Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML
Today, it's been a few days since I moved into a new apartment and was excited to finally have a balcony. I went out to enjoy the view, but as I leaned against the railing, it gave way and I fell two stories onto the pavement below. I ended up with a broken leg and a huge medical bill. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML
Today, I have a broken leg, four broken fingers, a cracked rib, a concussion, and an infection fever, and my wife still sent me downstairs with a bat to check for burglars when she heard a noise at 2 a.m. FML
Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
Today, looking out of my window, I spotted a fire raging in the building across from my apartment. Grabbing my phone, I dashed out to the balcony, only to slam into the screen door instead. After calling 911, I sprinted back out, only to clock the door a second time. FML
Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
turkturkington 13
She finally sent you over the edge, did she?
wolfgold2 20
Sounds like something from a cartoon.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
ty7in_topic 31
Sorry OP very unfortunate. I hope things between you and your wife get better. Try looking at the reasons you two got together, that'll fix it.
HeartOfLead 24
Having to go to the hospital tends to happen when you storm off... the balcony.
Ari1337 15
wat?
UnluckyGenius 21
Modern remake of Macbeth?
BauerMegan 31
How? I'm not seeing the connection.
UnluckyGenius 21
Balcony, drama, regrettable decisions, come on #64!
Laxoxo224 8
Make up sex!
RedPillSucks 33
OP probably broke his boner
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Dude don't even joke about that. A broken boner is just cruel
_GoodGuy 11
Rule #1 Don't argue with a women, you just can't win.
HeartOfLead 24
I'd rather sleep on the couch any night than in a hospital bed!
Kiki242 19
I hope you're okay but I laughed at this.
Melix 31
Next time you should look down to make sure.
russfml 31
Ya I'm sure that's what you do each time you walk out on a balcony right? Lmao There should have been caution tape or an obvious notification saying hey there is a door here but no actual balcony
hessel 13
i believe i can fly????
Cheeley 17
That's quite a dramatic exit OP.