Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML
Today, it's been a few days since I moved into a new apartment and was excited to finally have a balcony. I went out to enjoy the view, but as I leaned against the railing, it gave way and I fell two stories onto the pavement below. I ended up with a broken leg and a huge medical bill. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML
Today, I have a broken leg, four broken fingers, a cracked rib, a concussion, and an infection fever, and my wife still sent me downstairs with a bat to check for burglars when she heard a noise at 2 a.m. FML
Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
Today, looking out of my window, I spotted a fire raging in the building across from my apartment. Grabbing my phone, I dashed out to the balcony, only to slam into the screen door instead. After calling 911, I sprinted back out, only to clock the door a second time. FML
Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
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Top comments
turkturkington 13
She finally sent you over the edge, did she?
wolfgold2 20
Sounds like something from a cartoon.
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Comments (99)
perdix 31
Things she needs to replace: 1. Balcony 2. Husband Not necessarily in that order...
Ping600 12
Why would she need to replace OP exactly? Storming out from an argument to get a breath of fresh air doesn't justify needing a new husband. Even if that husband happened to walk off their non-existent balcony.. We don't know what the argument was about, so we shouldn't make assumptions. On another note, I'm glad you're ok, OP. How high is your balcony? You could've been seriously hurt. Hopefully you weren't too badly injured.
ViviMage 40
Why didn't you wait for the next Acme shipment to come in, Wile E.?! Acme or Bill Engvall, you need a sign!
LuapMere 11
She planned it from the start lol
worldclassrager 41
Get well soon...but either way your wife will always win the argument...
rita0ral 8
Sounds quite unrealistic
angelitared 27
Bahahahahahah!
Aspen_Grace33 27
Did she at least call for help or did she just ignore your fall and give you the cold shoulder?
Ashley868 10
How didn't you know it wasn't replaced yet?
LithFlavored 10
Nothin like a woman scorned huh
xenmarkal51 6
Now thats what I call 'tough love'!