Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML
Today, it's been a few days since I moved into a new apartment and was excited to finally have a balcony. I went out to enjoy the view, but as I leaned against the railing, it gave way and I fell two stories onto the pavement below. I ended up with a broken leg and a huge medical bill. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML
Today, I have a broken leg, four broken fingers, a cracked rib, a concussion, and an infection fever, and my wife still sent me downstairs with a bat to check for burglars when she heard a noise at 2 a.m. FML
Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
Today, looking out of my window, I spotted a fire raging in the building across from my apartment. Grabbing my phone, I dashed out to the balcony, only to slam into the screen door instead. After calling 911, I sprinted back out, only to clock the door a second time. FML
Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
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Top comments
turkturkington 13
She finally sent you over the edge, did she?
wolfgold2 20
Sounds like something from a cartoon.
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Comments (99)
BauerMegan 31
Which floor do you live on!? I hope to god you live in a small house and not an apartment building.
JibbaJabber 1
Maybe next time you should remember that your own balcony is gone.
WellImScrewed124 6
Ouch, I feel sorry for you
How_you_doin 10
Happy wife, happy life OP! And don't ever forget it or you may suddenly "fall" off another balcony
Krystal3408 32
You kind of pretty much deserved that one. Who forgets that their balcony is not there?
Risho96 10
Why would the balcony need replacing..?
redbluegreen 41
Termite damage or rotten wood is a possibility.
BeLikMike23 4
Haven't you heard that the secret to a good marriage is to never go to (hospital) bed angry?
termin8tor786 10
Hahhahahaha dumbass!!!!
incoherentrmblr 22
Well, at least you're alive. Sucks it happened. Other than Wile E Coyote, it reminds me of Home Alone 2 when Marv gets through the double doors and falls to the basement.
lesley3r3 22
So sorry op but I really can't stop laughing hope you get well soon xx