Today, my dad admitted to dating and getting my stepdaughter pregnant, and they’re very happy. My wife is furious. Meanwhile, my brother pointed out it’s a real life version of the Willie Nelson song. Once the baby is born, our inbred family tree will result in me technically being my own grandad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML
Today, I found out I am pregnant. I hooked up with my step-dad not that long ago while my mom was out of town. I'm 30 and he wants to tell my mom my baby is his, and I like the idea of telling her, but also know she won’t take it well. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
Today, my family is too damn close. My uncle on my dad's side just got my aunt on my mum's side pregnant, three cousins from dad's side are dating three cousins from mum's side, and a half brother from my dad is marrying my half sister from my mum. We are the inbred rednecks of this town. FML
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
Today, I realized how absolutely shitty my family is when my brother brought home his third girlfriend this week. They all smiled in her face, knowing full well my brother is a cheating asshole. Not to mention, she’s pregnant with his kid. I wasn’t allowed to date til I moved out. FML
Today, my son had a child to spite his ex and ex-stepson. He was holding his daughter in his arms in the delivery room when he told me that now I can stop visiting his ex-stepson and pretending he’s my real grandchild, because now I have a real granddaughter. I’m speechless. FML
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Top comments
Lost Reggie 22
That's Ray Stevens.
Lost Reggie 22
I certainly hope both individuals are consenting adults.
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Comments (4)
core01 30
The sexual exploitation of a child is not your focus? Only how YOU will be perceived. You're a piece of trash too.
Lost Reggie 22
I certainly hope both individuals are consenting adults.
Lost Reggie 22
That's Ray Stevens.
Plcx 8
You’re wrong : you will be the stepbrother of your stepgrandson (or whatever this is called).
BurnInDemonFire 39
Will it? Your dad's kid is your sister/brother, your step-daughter's kid is your step-grandkid, so this one will be your step-grandsibling, or something. To be your own grandad you'd have to bang your grandma and she'd have to fall pregnant with your dad/mum who would then need to be the half of a couple who sired you. At least I think that's how Futurama suggested it goes.