Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, my husband went to pick my mom up from the airport, but apparently they got in one of their arguments on the way home, so he dumped her at a Starbucks and came home without her. He won’t even tell me which Starbucks, and when I rang her she gave useless directions. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
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Top comments
leesh08 0
=[ that's so horrible!!
equinoxe_fml 2
divorce the bastard.
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Comments (74)
iLML_fml 0
divorce..
melodichard 0
FAKEEEEEEEEEEEE.
holynemesis1208 3
how does your husband forget your name??
Bibico_fml 0
I agree with 72. Why would someone spend the time typing in a message on a phone when it would take a fraction of the time to just call? This one's pure fiction.
deardaniel_fml 0
lol most of the FML's on these websites are fake.
crazyvulva9216 0
He sucks. No way. Leave that twat.
Melly_fml 0
when it says 'i asked him about it' it means she called him back, and then he accidentally said the wrong name...yea?
lolatmisfortune 0
What an asshole.
mfbabyyy 0
this sounds so horrible, he's your husband so i'm assuming you're in love with him.. it hurts to be cheated on.. i wouldn't believe him for a second when he said "i don't know what you're talking about." he even got his own wife's name wrong. sorry.
Tikal_fml 0
That DOES suck.