By crushed - 10/3/2021 14:00 Thanks little buddy Today, I was in the middle of my workout when my cat meowed so loudly, it startled me into dropping a 50-pound weight onto my foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 759 You deserved it 238 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - Canada Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 25252 You deserved it 7389 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dear Lord Save Me - United Kingdom - Merthyr Tydfil Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML I agree, your life sucks 35091 You deserved it 3280 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cargaljen - United States Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML I agree, your life sucks 26770 You deserved it 4959 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/9/2020 05:05 Life decisions Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend after I got home and realised I was happier sat in my car on the street than I would be if I went inside and had to put up with her whining and her 2 spoiled daughters for even one more day. So now I’m happy, but also homeless. FML I agree, your life sucks 1434 You deserved it 376 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kimberly - France Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML I agree, your life sucks 14037 You deserved it 35010 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cslouth - United States - Rochester Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML I agree, your life sucks 14807 You deserved it 63391 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I'm my husband's second mom - United States - Dickson Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML I agree, your life sucks 22748 You deserved it 4470 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Murfreesboro Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML I agree, your life sucks 36874 You deserved it 5012 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By firstandlastjob - 13/6/2020 14:11 Make it stop Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML I agree, your life sucks 1690 You deserved it 185 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zl5 - New Zealand - Masterton Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML I agree, your life sucks 53996 You deserved it 4828 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MyFaceHurts - United States Fight Club Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 9819 You deserved it 55353 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML I agree, your life sucks 19521 You deserved it 74859 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kelly - United States Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML I agree, your life sucks 42926 You deserved it 9423 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rissa Warrington - Canada Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML I agree, your life sucks 33732 You deserved it 4673 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Fountain Valley Today, I missed my dentist appointment. I couldn't attend, because I was too busy puking my guts up due to a bad reaction to the pain medication I'm taking for my toothache. FML I agree, your life sucks 25384 You deserved it 2304 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chicochico - France Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML I agree, your life sucks 58138 You deserved it 7010 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bad boyfriend - Canada Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML I agree, your life sucks 18419 You deserved it 25182 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML I agree, your life sucks 48426 You deserved it 5484 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wittlegirl - United States Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML I agree, your life sucks 48197 You deserved it 3974 334 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whatdidimarry - United Kingdom - Cardiff Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML I agree, your life sucks 24177 You deserved it 2278 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Forever alone Guy - Australia - Narre Warren Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML I agree, your life sucks 31058 You deserved it 3809 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ltl_Dust_Bunny - United States Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML I agree, your life sucks 65767 You deserved it 9470 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UnemployedGrad - United States Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML I agree, your life sucks 41048 You deserved it 7029 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Steve - United States Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML I agree, your life sucks 58776 You deserved it 8737 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cashier - United States Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML I agree, your life sucks 29108 You deserved it 3760 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PentiumBawls8 - United States Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML I agree, your life sucks 12106 You deserved it 32732 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML I agree, your life sucks 10390 You deserved it 28908 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kelly - United States - Manteca Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML I agree, your life sucks 32089 You deserved it 3152 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By What does this button do? - New Zealand - Auckland Today, my new apprentice took, "What does this button do?" to a new level when he pushed an emergency, "Stop all" button, causing my firm to miss multiple deadlines, causing massive losses In profits. FML I agree, your life sucks 6761 You deserved it 620 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "jesstracy" - United States - Naperville Today, I took my dog to the emergency vet at 4 in the morning because he ate something he shouldn't have. I spent hundreds of dollars on tests, all to find out he'll pass it. What did he eat? My silicon strap-on. FML I agree, your life sucks 2722 You deserved it 1095 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By . - United States Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML I agree, your life sucks 45245 You deserved it 4029 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Newark Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 21999 You deserved it 1700 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThankYou! - Canada - Winnipeg Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 23708 You deserved it 1957 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cacahuete - France - Villejuif Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML I agree, your life sucks 42778 You deserved it 7341 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Reston Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 28850 You deserved it 4354 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Southend Today, my little sister randomly came up to me and said: "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML I agree, your life sucks 35186 You deserved it 3082 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scarlett - United States Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML I agree, your life sucks 50463 You deserved it 6122 257 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/1/2021 14:01 - Germany The smell detective is on the case Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML I agree, your life sucks 957 You deserved it 102 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/6/2020 20:01 Bad guy (duh) Today, I had to fake enthusiasm when my girlfriend told me she's pregnant. She has a nasty streak and I was planning to break up with her, but if I left her now everyone would think I’m the bad guy. And I actually think she’s capable of killing me if she gets angry enough. FML I agree, your life sucks 1712 You deserved it 753 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - El Cajon Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML I agree, your life sucks 25821 You deserved it 10535 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Warp1978 | 12 #7977458 - Wednesday 10 March 2021 17:31 Fucking cats 😄😄 Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Warp1978 | 12 #7977458 - Wednesday 10 March 2021 17:31 Fucking cats 😄😄 Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 366 You deserved it 34 7 Comments
Today, I found out that a burglar broke into my house. Since I didn't have expensive stuff for them to steal, they took my Fleshlight. FML I agree, your life sucks 478 You deserved it 92 2 Comments
