Subtle threat
Today, my girlfriend has been playing SZA’s "Kill Bill" on repeat all day. I’m starting to get genuinely scared. FML
Today, my girlfriend has been playing SZA’s "Kill Bill" on repeat all day. I’m starting to get genuinely scared. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realised my girlfriend likes to play Taylor Swift whenever she wants me to leave her alone. FML
Today, my roommate’s 17 year-old daughter got broken up with. She locked herself in her room and won’t stop playing "Driver’s License" by Olivia Rodrigo on a continuous loop. Not to mention sounding like an agonizing cat while screaming its lyrics. It’s been 2 hours. FML
Today, my girlfriend has been randomly screaming out, “Coronavirus! Hehehe!” in a scarily accurate Cardi B impression. She’s been doing it for days and refuses to stop. I’m starting to think facing the damn virus might be less annoying at this point. FML
Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML
Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML
Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I'm now afraid to argue with her. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I was exhausted and wanted a nap. She decided to join me, then got bored and started watching Instagram reels blasting the same five seconds of some awful Cardi B "song." She got pissed when I asked her to stop. FML
Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML
Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
Today, my girlfriend likes playing games on her phone more than she likes me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Is your name Bill?
Thaylok 17
Any chance there is a bit of overthinking going on? Maybe take some time away and go fishing for her attention and figure out what's going on.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Is your name Bill?
ODBeefalo 10
I think she is trying to tell you she wants to watch volume 1 followed by volume 2... take the hint.
Thaylok 17
Any chance there is a bit of overthinking going on? Maybe take some time away and go fishing for her attention and figure out what's going on.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Change your name to Samuel and start calling her a ************. See who backs down first.