Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
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Top comments
Gixie 25
Sounds like a shitty time.
herpaderpaherp 17
Looks like he found a new form of finger painting
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Comments (90)
Jharrist89 12
There's shit EVERYWHERE!
jaybear13 14
Kids do the darndest things ever!
joljenni1717 4
As far as i see it...it's your own damn fault! What were YOU doing? The kid had time to get it on the wall, down his pants, on the couch, and in the bathroom...That means he went from one room to the next trailing shit and where were you.......Some baby sitter you are! Considering it's only one child. 3 children, sure, you have to watch more than one at a time and they run around. One child....and you can't keep track of him. You'r supposed to be watching him...accidents happen. But they don't happen long enough to go from room to room and touch you. Pay more attention.
thedictator_fml 12
uhmmmmmm...obviously OP took the child immediately to the bathroom, but no matter how close you are, diarrhoea is LIQUID, so it will run down the pants and into the carpet immediately. OP showed they reacted pretty well by bringing the child to the bathroom, but of course that caused more or the sh** to go on the bathroom floor and wall...kids are like that they don't think its gross! So maybe you should stop bitching around!
cmac86 24
I do not envy you.
charlottegurrl 9
At least it's not in your mouth...
deadhead419 15
Kids for ya
flfsu84 3
That's not chocolate, that's doo doo baby
bethybooditom 9
"I missed" What do you mean you missed" *shrugs and walks away. While daddy sitter looks in the bathroom curls lip and eerie music begins to play
brendejafulable 41
ohhhhh shitttt.
SophiaLaw 3
wow it's this kind of thing that makes me want to throw my uterus into oncoming traffic and never have kids. Worse for you that the kid wasn't even yours, so yeah, FYL.