I am not a psychologist but have my own personal history of depression. It came on initially when I was a young adult and eventually mostly went away except for infrequent episodes until I was in my 50’s when it came back. In my case I figured out that significant episodes of depression were due to one of two kinds of things - One was situational triggered by my circumstances or even physical health; the other was not apparently related to anything in my situation - It just came on suddenly with no apparent reason. The situational one for me was by far the most common. As a young man I figured out for myself what helped me make it through these episodes. The most important of which was to recognize that these episodes did pass, no matter how bad they seemed at the time. Knowing that they pass and I had survived other episodes before gave me hope that the current episode would pass too. I also figured out that no matter how attractive suicide might feel at the time - It was absolutely permanent whereas depression is almost always temporary. To kill yourself is to give in to a temporary feeling with permanent consequences - Think of how it would hurt those who love you and all the good times you would miss in the future that stretch unknown before you. When I was older and severe episodes of depression came back into my life - usually as result of my situation (divorce, problems with a very difficult teenage son, or severe arthritis episodes) then I went to psychologists or psychiatrists. (A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who can prescribe medications, a psychologist is a trained counselor.) I found that in the short run antidepressants can help, but in the long run effective counseling is more effective. All the antidepressants have side effects and over time, eventually higher dosages are required to be effective leading to more side effects. Ideally in a severe case both medication and counseling provide the best combination. Counseling can teach you how to avoid situations that trigger the depression and teach mechanisms for coping with it when it does come. Suicidal thoughts are in my case a way of gauging how severe my depression episodes are and not anything I intend to carry out. By the way if you are having trouble scheduling to see a psychologist or psychiatrist just mention you are having suicidal thoughts - That moves you up on the priority. But do not over-emphasize it or the police may show up. Friends (either real or social media friends) can sometimes provide encouragement, but they are rarely trained and equipped to be psychologists. And you can come off as “attention seeking” to the untrained which will not help if you just blast it out on social media. If you are suffering from depression I urge you to seek professional help rather than expect your friends and family to be able to help you. There are resources - Your doctor can recommend professional help. Sometimes your work has counseling resources (see your HR department, not your boss). Schools have counselors. If you belong to a religion the minister, priest or rabbi can often provide counseling or recommend a counselor for members and family of their congregation. If you are covered by health insurance or a health plan there will be at least some coverage for mental health.

On the other hand, no one asked you if they can have your stuff after you're gone.

I am so sorry! I hope you get the help you need and get some better friends who will be there for you. You matter, and what your feeling is temporary.

Don’t do it !