Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML
Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML
Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML
Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML
Today, I was in a serious meeting with my boss and a client when I remembered a dumb meme my friend sent me last night. I couldn’t stop myself from snorting. Everyone stopped and looked at me. My boss said, “Is something funny?” Nope. Not anymore. FML
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Top comments
danplusplus 0
You've got red on you.
blameyourself 0
Maybe you shouldn't snort?
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Comments (104)
fml05 0
aww it's okay it was just a mistake, something that could've happened to anyone. Hopefully your director knows that too
ohhhhshizzz 0
#20: If you are a man, marry me:p I love scrubs! OP: Awkward much? And yes I realize that many people hate when something like what I just wrote is posed as a question. Which is why I wrote it that way :]
ohhhhshizzz 0
Oh & #57, that movie was friggin' stupid. Just a bunch of music, not scary.
vola97 0
DID YOU STILL GET THE PROMOTION AWWWWWW11111111!!!!!!!!!!!! SICKOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
paks7 0
don't snort? why would you voluntarily do that? theres this thing called laughing...
cmac86 24
So why would you snort for a "polite" laugh?
RyeBreadBoy 0
agree with 35. why was he wearing a white tie with a white shirt? sounds like it's either his fault for having poor fashion sense or your fault for using poor grammar.
Buneary 0
Oh wow. They can't blame you for that though, not your fault your nose bled. D:
bobechi 0
Elliot Reed, the character from Scrubs, did exactly that at her promotion interview....
stop_whining 0
Oh my gawd!!!1!!!11!!! You mean kind of like in that scene from "Drag Me To Hell?" Yawn. This is bullshit.