Miscellaneous: Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into...

By TheTacoMan - 01/02/2015 21:12

Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 069

You deserved it 4 695

TheTacoMan tells us more.

TheTacoMan 24

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Tuesday 3 February 2015 22:06

OP here, I wasn't saying that she should come back to complete my hair cut, I was talking about everyone else who was working there. Luckily the hair cutter made it to the hospital in time, and she gave birth to a healthy boy, or so they said over the phone. I came back the next day and they finished cutting my hair... For half price.

Miscellaneous

Age difference

Walk the line

Judge and jury

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 13:33 - United States

Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 570

You deserved it 5 789

By oh no - 29/01/2013 14:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 383

You deserved it 3 440

By chelsay05 - 04/11/2016 00:53 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I had to go to work on my day off to suspend someone. Afterwards, I got a call saying I can't suspend the person in question because the supervisor who told me to suspend them was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 342

You deserved it 659

By colorblind - 05/07/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 429

You deserved it 71 231

By jaydiv - 22/11/2009 09:15 - Australia

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 556

You deserved it 36 343

One man and his lawn

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 16:00 - United States - Little Rock

Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 06:55 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 054

You deserved it 1 590

By Anonymous - 02/07/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, was my first day working for a real estate company. just as I sat in my car my pants ripped hugely from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants and three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 950

You deserved it 9 174

By katchoo - 03/11/2013 07:34 - Denmark

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 465

You deserved it 8 427

By Unemployed - 30/09/2009 09:03 - Malaysia

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 879

You deserved it 54 353

By bluemonday - 17/04/2009 11:47 - Canada

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 371

You deserved it 7 396

By Kim - 10/04/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back the only positive comment on the paper was "well I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 798

You deserved it 5 233

By imahater07 - 25/12/2015 06:28

Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 157

You deserved it 1 682

By Nola - 27/04/2017 12:00

Today, I watched my mother pull her pants down and, using her hands, feel her butt crack to check if she'd had had an accident. She then pulled her pants up, went into the kitchen and touched stuff in the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 183

You deserved it 319

White line fever

By Anonymous - 10/04/2020 17:00

Today, I've been using a lot of Flonase recently for my stuffy nose, and my 4 year-old happens to call it "mommy's special nose medicine" out loud all the time. My neighbors now think I do cocaine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 223

By Pokemon problems - 23/10/2012 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 363

You deserved it 4 808

By sadcat - 06/02/2010 15:19 - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 982

You deserved it 14 743

By BOOMerang - 24/09/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 399

You deserved it 45 358

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 778

You deserved it 2 592

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 04:07 - United States - Taylors

Today, I was playing basketball in the searing heat with my friends. I jokingly told my friend that I was gonna die if I stayed out there much longer. Two minutes later, I got the ball and made the shot that won. Too bad I didn't see it, since I collapsed right as I took the shot and blacked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 007

You deserved it 1 385

By R2A8 - 01/03/2019 04:00 - Kenya

Today, after I got lectured about not replying on the family group chat, I decided to wish everyone a good morning. No one responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 276

By failingdaily - 20/09/2014 02:27 - New Zealand - Paraparaumu

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 857

You deserved it 4 002

By Ashley Youngman - 16/06/2019 20:04

Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 1 142

Love hurts

By Sam - 27/08/2020 23:02 - Canada

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, as I was picking up my 7 year old daughter at my ex husband's house my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "mommy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 006

You deserved it 9 127

By ShakeRattleHiss - 20/04/2011 15:25 - Canada

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 4 717

By love_to_live - 28/07/2012 04:17 - United States - Waupun

Today, while in the store with my kids, they wanted to buy tampons because I am "getting cranky, and it should be that time of the month." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 782

You deserved it 22 447

By hardwarekit - 31/10/2014 14:27 - United States - Fairport

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 526

You deserved it 2 906

By jentea - 05/09/2010 02:22 - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 328

You deserved it 34 795

Socializing

By nja - 12/07/2020 23:01

Today, it's the first day in 14 weeks I've got dressed up and gone out anywhere other than to go food shopping. Shame it’s to attend a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 23/05/2014 22:06 - Canada - Oakville

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 507

You deserved it 15 843

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 06:18 - United States

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 454

You deserved it 3 592

Word of the day

By Maryann - 19/03/2021 05:01

Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 67

By ladeda - 07/03/2009 07:01 - United States

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 381

You deserved it 6 743

By Anonymous - 09/02/2011 15:01 - United States

Today, my mother got me to guess who she spent the night with. I then find out it was the gas station guy. The same creep that I've been complaining about because he hits on me every time I go get gas. Good pick Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 792

You deserved it 3 335

By Gitana - 22/04/2012 19:08 - Spain - Tafalla

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 27/02/2012 12:29 - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 982

You deserved it 3 743

Awkward conversation

By anon - 28/12/2019 05:00 - United States - La Puente

Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 477

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 16:39 - United States

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 807

You deserved it 3 517

By madessalarouge - 20/10/2018 23:00 - United States

Today, my 4 year old son excitedly asked me if he'd get to see drones at the zoo. He apparently thinks drones are living creatures. I guess I can go ahead and spend his college savings on shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 1 308

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Top comments

A07 48

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Monday 2 February 2015 11:47

Have you honestly been waiting for your hairdresser to return?

cheeeksss 29

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Monday 2 February 2015 11:51

I give her props for working as a hairdresser while pregnant that far along. I don't imagine they sit down very much.

toomuchMDMA 9

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Monday 2 February 2015 11:44

You must be so cut up

hugozac88 22

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Monday 2 February 2015 15:05

Yeah she's not coming back to finish

captain_crook 17

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Monday 2 February 2015 11:45

I'm picturing the half-evil minion from despicable me 2 here :'D

WattledParsley 11

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Tuesday 3 February 2015 18:58

Why?

jkp1291 25

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Monday 2 February 2015 11:45

No one else could have finished it after she left to the hospital? Pretty sure the haircut thing wasn't really on her mind at the time so....

A07 48

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Monday 2 February 2015 11:47

Have you honestly been waiting for your hairdresser to return?

soulreaper12296 28

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Monday 2 February 2015 17:57

That's not what they mean. They mean that even after the hairdresser left, no one else came to finish it.

El_Boxeador 14

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Monday 2 February 2015 18:13

Since he said, "they" I'm assuming he meant the other hairdressers.

False_Stupidity 41

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Monday 2 February 2015 20:23

All the other hairdressers were probably so excited about the first one having her baby that they totally forgot about OP.

Bidnitch 3

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Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:29

#44 because being excited is totally a reason to leave a client hanging. Do you know how jobs work?

Ch_rae5 19

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Tuesday 3 February 2015 6:58

#58 do you know how labor works? I mean would you want to take the time to find a replacement for a random client when a human being wanted to come out of you? it would just be a tad too chaotic.

A07 48

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Tuesday 3 February 2015 7:18

As #58 says, they should have first finished OP's haircut and then called 911, because, the customer always comes first.

TheTacoMan 24

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Tuesday 3 February 2015 22:06

Jak0p 25

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Wednesday 4 February 2015 0:02

wow, half price is still expensive for that kind of service

Cassmoneyyy 15

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Wednesday 4 February 2015 3:01

Should've been at no charge.

JOEBOBARNOLD 15

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Wednesday 4 February 2015 4:48

Maybe half price for the first time, so half of one haircut totals

proudhollow 12

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Wednesday 4 February 2015 16:19

why didnt they finish the cut for free

subscript 15

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Sunday 22 February 2015 15:00

I guess they would have to cut the price for you

Jenniesaurus 14

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Monday 2 February 2015 11:47

Well, probably best she didn't continue after that. Imagine if she'd had a contraction whilst wielding a pair of scissors. You'd have your own medical emergency.