Miscellaneous: Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into...

By TheTacoMan

Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34059

You deserved it

4695

Favorite

TheTacoMan tells us more :

OP here, I wasn't saying that she should come back to complete my hair cut, I was talking about everyone else who was working there. Luckily the hair cutter made it to the hospital in time, and she gave birth to a healthy boy, or so they said over the phone. I came back the next day and they finished cutting my hair... For half price.

Miscellaneous

Out of it

No justice

Moving day, grandma

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52134

You deserved it

4776

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53232

You deserved it

16313

Favorite

By Michael tee - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26299

You deserved it

5006

Favorite

By me - United States - West Babylon

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40535

You deserved it

8436

Favorite

By idk - United States - Alexandria

Today, I saw the hottest nurse ever. Too bad he was pulling out a piece of wax the size of a raisin from my blocked ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46210

You deserved it

8276

Favorite

By jjs51 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47145

You deserved it

3861

Favorite

By imgay - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I discovered that most of my family is homophobic while discussing Orange Is The New Black. I've only come out to my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28625

You deserved it

2902

Favorite

By DanniRae - United States

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35229

You deserved it

70519

Favorite

By hailey - United States - Bethesda

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

I agree, your life sucks

30736

You deserved it

6699

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55806

You deserved it

4672

Favorite

By lilithfaye - United States

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27534

You deserved it

6208

Favorite

By FML - United States

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26232

You deserved it

58871

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30395

You deserved it

2347

Favorite

By krizleykrislo - United States

Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10196

You deserved it

63760

Favorite

By thjeltz - Canada

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28812

You deserved it

3047

Favorite

By AnxiousCucumber - United States - Los Angeles

And I oop

Today, my boyfriend's dick got stuck in the wrong hole. And by wrong hole I mean the pool filter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20222

You deserved it

2156

Favorite

By barfyshirt - United States

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37683

You deserved it

7151

Favorite

By QuestionMyLife - United States

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27351

You deserved it

13375

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33306

You deserved it

7970

Favorite

By LZapped - United States - Mundelein

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29202

You deserved it

5286

Favorite

By ohforcheese - United States

Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29526

You deserved it

8500

Favorite

By catattack78 - United States

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30224

You deserved it

3986

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I got a check for $100 for a random selecting at work. My boyfriend’s reaction? Light it on fire out of jealously. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4905

You deserved it

446

Favorite

By dumbass

Today, my boyfriend left for a 2-year job posting in China. We had agreed to maintain a long distance relationship and even worked out a visiting schedule. Later that night, after trying to reach him, I realized the numbers he gave me weren't for China. The country code doesn't even exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38264

You deserved it

3721

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Sanford

Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46133

You deserved it

6984

Favorite

By JTBastry

Today, after graduating from culinary school, I was turned down by Chipotle, Jersey Mike's, and McDonald's entry-level jobs because I didn't have enough experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4008

You deserved it

378

Favorite

By Stacy - United States

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36884

You deserved it

8410

Favorite

By CodyS - United States - Rocky River

Sticky situation

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40141

You deserved it

11230

Favorite

By Monkeys aren't pets - 7/12/2020 23:04 - United States - Millersville

Is that even legal?

Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

743

You deserved it

Favorite

By SailorVenus93

Giddy approval!

Today, I got so ecstatic about getting approved for a credit card that I made myself sick. I guess my first ever purchase will be TUMS and some Ginger Ale. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1206

You deserved it

374

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3167

You deserved it

1570

Favorite

By smsmall - United States

Today, I finally admitted that I have to consider buying a nose hair trimmer. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27279

You deserved it

4159

Favorite

By tiredmom - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11259

You deserved it

1545

Favorite

By menstruation nation - 11/8/2020 05:01

Freak out

Today, my boyfriend flipped out when he saw a period tracker app on my phone. According to him, chicks only use those when they want to know when they’re the most fertile so they can “baby trap” a man. I have irregular cycles. The app helps me know when I should or shouldn’t expect a period. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1723

You deserved it

120

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/11/2020 20:08 - United States

Wage slave

Today, at work, our customer service chat was empty all day, so I got up to go to bathroom. In the two minutes I was gone, three people tried to chat with me. Then I got a call from my manager, asking me why I wasn't doing my job. He told me to give advanced notice next time I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

896

You deserved it

Favorite

By Broc'n dreams - New Zealand - Auckland

Face Your Fears

Today, I woke up screaming "FUCK OFF!" because I had a dream that someone threw broccoli through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6429

You deserved it

761

Favorite

By conbon123 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41017

You deserved it

3433

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Denver

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33751

You deserved it

2705

Favorite

By LizzyJones - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55090

You deserved it

8965

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29203

You deserved it

4884

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By A07 | 48

#6190076 - Monday 2 February 2015 11:47

Have you honestly been waiting for your hairdresser to return?

By cheeeksss | 29

#6190082 - Monday 2 February 2015 11:51

I give her props for working as a hairdresser while pregnant that far along. I don't imagine they sit down very much.

COMMENTS

By toomuchMDMA | 9

#6190071 - Monday 2 February 2015 11:44

You must be so cut up

hugozac88 | 22

#6190217 - Monday 2 February 2015 15:05

Yeah she's not coming back to finish

By captain_crook | 17

#6190072 - Monday 2 February 2015 11:45

I'm picturing the half-evil minion from despicable me 2 here :'D

WattledParsley | 11

#6191357 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 18:58

Why?

By jkp1291 | 25

#6190073 - Monday 2 February 2015 11:45

No one else could have finished it after she left to the hospital? Pretty sure the haircut thing wasn't really on her mind at the time so....

By A07 | 48

#6190076 - Monday 2 February 2015 11:47

Have you honestly been waiting for your hairdresser to return?

soulreaper12296 | 28

#6190313 - Monday 2 February 2015 17:57

That's not what they mean. They mean that even after the hairdresser left, no one else came to finish it.

El_Boxeador | 14

#6190337 - Monday 2 February 2015 18:13

Since he said, "they" I'm assuming he meant the other hairdressers.

False_Stupidity | 41

#6190440 - Monday 2 February 2015 20:23

All the other hairdressers were probably so excited about the first one having her baby that they totally forgot about OP.

Bidnitch | 3

#6190854 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:29

#44 because being excited is totally a reason to leave a client hanging. Do you know how jobs work?

Ch_rae5 | 19

#6190972 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 6:58

#58 do you know how labor works? I mean would you want to take the time to find a replacement for a random client when a human being wanted to come out of you? it would just be a tad too chaotic.

A07 | 48

#6190978 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 7:18

As #58 says, they should have first finished OP's haircut and then called 911, because, the customer always comes first.

TheTacoMan | 24

#6191467 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 22:06

Jak0p | 25

#6191542 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 0:02

wow, half price is still expensive for that kind of service

Cassmoneyyy | 15

#6191734 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 3:01

Should've been at no charge.

JOEBOBARNOLD | 15

#6191791 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 4:48

Maybe half price for the first time, so half of one haircut totals

proudhollow | 12

#6192305 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 16:19

why didnt they finish the cut for free

subscript | 15

#6209704 - Sunday 22 February 2015 15:00

I guess they would have to cut the price for you

By Jenniesaurus | 14

#6190077 - Monday 2 February 2015 11:47

Well, probably best she didn't continue after that. Imagine if she'd had a contraction whilst wielding a pair of scissors. You'd have your own medical emergency.