Awkward and Love: Smooth operator

Smooth operator

By Nic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 948

You deserved it 46 046

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Same thing different taste

Skittish

By bronzemedal97 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 065

You deserved it 3 308

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 406

You deserved it 4 470

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 585

By staciedee - 01/06/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 169

You deserved it 4 950

By blondie - 24/03/2009 23:10 - Australia

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 033

You deserved it 88 061

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 485

You deserved it 3 242

Rack go thwack

By Mary Anne - 03/09/2020 09:04 - United States - Denver

Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 437

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 894

You deserved it 11 467

By 352 - 18/04/2012 20:18 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 326

You deserved it 4 177

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 007

You deserved it 9 305

wes85 2

Thursday 22 July 2010 23:22

probably got his attention.

MyNameIsInvictus 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 23:19

NOTE. That never works. Fail.

Comments

Haze347 2

Friday 23 July 2010 20:23

umm who gives a ****

auttie_girl 0

Friday 23 July 2010 22:48

Wow. You're smooth OP. Haha.

Mumbellosity711 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 6:01

I think you wouldve gotten even more attention if you didn't wear pants..

Trixies100 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 8:04

hahahaha

1234512345cj 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 8:58

PWND!!!!!!

mscupcake1 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 16:46

Okayyy... it happens. How is this a FML!?

sedvus 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 15:47

Stop with the hate mail. The fact that she was in skimpy shorts does not make her a ****, it just means she might be a bit attention starved.

xoerica9 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 1:02

You needy to dress sluttily to get your boyfriend's attention? HA.

uluvmyexistence 0

Monday 2 August 2010 20:46

if your bf doesnt think youre beautiful and notice u all the time u need to dump him. plus ur an attention ***** and youre needy

TheB0a 5

Saturday 7 August 2010 9:33

least you got his attention one way or another

Keywords

Work Capitalism Money Love Cheating Drunk Health Relatable Awkward Concert Miscellaneous Friends Music Coworkers Sextoys Intimacy Pranks Embarrassing Gross Morning Transportation Cars Allergies Food Cute AITA Mental health Medication Annoying Nice Guys

The Top

Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 130

You deserved it 1 350

Today, I gave a presentation to a group of international clients. Wanting to impress them, I tried to say "Thank you" in their language, which I thought was Portuguese. Turns out, I was speaking Spanish to a room full of French Canadians. Their confused faces were priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 651

The Top

Today, my doctor confirmed I’m pregnant, but she phrased it as, “I’ve got some bad news for you, you’re pregnant.” I could be wrong but should a health professional automatically assume a pregnancy is unwanted? Plus she’s spent months helping us with fertility advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 113

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 163

Today, I spent over an hour shovelling the walkway and driveway, snow blowing in my face and down my coat. When I was finally finished, a guy started going through the neighborhood plowing everyone's driveways for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 460

You deserved it 2 979

Today, I learned I have a slight allergy to wasps when I cut down a dead tree they made a home out of. Half my face now looks like I'm wearing a fat suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 823

You deserved it 372

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 122

You deserved it 12 931

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 160

You deserved it 2 423