RIP

The disrespect

Today, I visited my mom at the graveyard first thing in the morning. Not even 24 hours after the funeral, someone’s dog had taken a massive, liquidy shit all over her grave. FML

Today, I was robbed. They took my father's ashes. FML

Thanks for your support

Today, I visited my dad's grave to give it a clean, since moss and shit were starting to grow on the gravestone. Apparently this counts as vandalism, according to the groundskeeper, because soap and water can damage the stone and make it crumble faster. Yes, the city cops sent me a fine. FML

Every little helps

Today, I found out that my grandmother desecrated my grandfather's grave. 14 years after his death, she dug up his body and had him cremated so that she could sell his plot back to the cemetery for money. I was the one who found out so I had to tell the rest of the family. FML

Let that sink in

Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML

Morning conversation

Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

My forever home

Today, my father gave me the best birthday gift, a piece of real estate. I got a grave, which is leased. FML

Highlight of the wedding

Today, despite his promise not to, my dad got completely shitfaced at my wedding reception. When we found him, he was passed out on the toilet with his pants down, penis out, and he’d shit all over himself, the toilet, and the floor. I thought I could trust him just this once, but now he’s dead to me. FML

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML