Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
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Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
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Top comments
tanekdrachonae 19
Guess you should get to work then.
MelTheGreat 23
Sweep or weep.
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Comments (280)
billyisgone 4
Here is what I would do in this situation: "take that stupid point system away or we're getting a divorce" 2 possible outcomes: "okay hunny" in which case you don't get a divorce "no, the system stays" in which case you get rid of her. No one in a healthy, loving marriage should have to earn points to get a little action from a distant wife.
TheMystery13 13
Two ways to handle this: "Good thing the neighbor only requires two points, and I just happen to have the fresh roll of toilet paper she needs. See you later honey!" Either that or, assuming you're the one with the paycheck, make your own chart of how much of your money she gets per sex act, and no sex means no money. Either way, ditch the bitch.
blala2733 5
You gotta pull Ur weight too!!! She's not Ur slave
BarbieBlanca 10
thats the problem. women treat men like children and wonder why they end up single and lonely. not every woman does, but a majority do. a man is a man treat him like a king and hell treat you like his queen. this isnt elementary school.
honeybeeki 14
I agree, your wife sucks.
magnetic_aura 26
Guess she wasn't feeling appreciated, but holding out on sex isn't a way to move forward... Instead, you should have a chart where you each do chores in order to earn oral sex from each other or something...
ShadowNinja27 6
One word, mistress
mewtwonow 24
So 100 points is anal?
_awkwardturtle_ 2
Woooow, whipped haha
dragoongirl90 34
What a bitch. You should leave her and find a real woman who really loves you.