Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
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Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
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Top comments
tanekdrachonae 19
Guess you should get to work then.
MelTheGreat 23
Sweep or weep.
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Comments (280)
oyevey45 12
That sucks, but she is a genius. Get to work man.
firebird07 13
Rationing intimacy, using sex as a weapon, sounds like a dysfunctional relationship to me.
amarzu 2
If my wife was to start making ridiculous rules like the stuff I read here, I'd be at a divorce attorney the next day. That is some childish, self-centered nonsense.
AyPapiChulo 9
Sounds fun!
ErwinsWife 5
That is so stupid. You shouldn't have to have a chart to be intimate with your spouse. I would never do that to my husband...
rene22 18
You better do nothing. If she's not going to help you out, don't help her out either.
Ikaros 2
What the shitfuck? Why are you married then? Sex and intimacy are the most important things in a relationship, if that doesn't work, nothing will. I'm amazed that you put up with that.
spookycat32 6
You ******* slacker!
Stayin_Classy777 8
Get going before she opens a frequent flyer club
Trippchic 15
It's either one of two things here, 1. She's a bitch who uses nookie as a way to get what she wants (which I as a female think is just wrong, and don't do it) .. if that's the case I can't really give advice. or 2. You do Nothing around the house and she had to resort to withholding the pussy to get you to do things.. in which case get to sweeping lol.