Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I was suffering from some gastric distress. While on my way to a job interview, I slipped on some concrete that was wet due to a recent slight rain shower. I didn't fall. I DID shit my pants though. I walked back home slowly in shame to clean up the mess. I didn't make it to the interview. FML
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the Chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML
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Top comments
cheezter 15
Never ever ever tell anyone about this
MyNameIsLaughter 18
I hate it when this happens! I try to drink a good amount of water and do jumping jacks, and small exercises to warm up before my runs to make sure nothing is gonna get loose on the run. Hope the next run is better OP
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Comments (50)
worldclassrager 41
Congrats on the post but I think this one should have been under wraps...change your info if you decide to follow up...you'll never live this down if you are found...
Khepre 22
And this is why I run at night. The darkness hides me... *ominous musics plays* ... Also hides if I shit my pants...
beeferjay 34
you shat your pants?
Smooth_Criminal 24
No, he fell in the mud.
Amateur_Dank 17
Hey, at least you made it.
Miss_Mandi 29
Reminds me of the girl that did a marathon while bleeding freely into her underwear/pants.
greeneyedx 23
Except that woman chose to "free bleed," OP didn't xD
Mons_fml 27
I heard about that as well! People calling it strong and brave. I just thought to myself that thats gross and about as strong and brave as choosing to run a marathon with diarrhea. Then this FML came up. #dontletitholdyoubackgurl
lovefrog 14
"You must be wondering, why the red suit…"-Deadpool 2015 (sorry it just reminded me)
IvyChennyChen 21
shit happens, OP hahaa but all jokes aside I hope you're feeling better!
pdp_fml 21
Next time be sure to take some toilet paper along to help clean up.
juturnaamo 29
Cabin boy, bring me my brown pants! If you run enough, either this will happen to you, or you'll see it happen to someone else. I saw a guy fall out during an Army run once and come back with only one sock...he knew he wasn't going to make it back.
vikky538 29
Did you jog while coming back home? Or did you run?