Health, School, Embarrassing and Sports: Ready, steady…

Ready, steady…

By dan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 674

You deserved it 9 154

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Same thing different taste

By reallyhighschool - 03/12/2013 16:34 - United States - Torrance

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 979

You deserved it 4 662

Impressive

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 782

You deserved it 88 156

Suspect

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 390

You deserved it 2 848

Sirens

By yumx24 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 110

You deserved it 16 173

Gym bro

By kaplwv116 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 054

You deserved it 41 203

Misunderstanding

By vanessa_d15 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 108

You deserved it 6 735

Piss poor prank

By peedonme - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 261

You deserved it 2 941

You played yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 49 188

Assumptions

By Crappyfayman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said, "Not in a million years, fat ass!" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 295

You deserved it 3 692

Red flag

By Kirby - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 193

You deserved it 4 501

iliketurdles 7

Saturday 19 November 2011 12:03

Doesn't matter. Still won.

sierra142 19

Saturday 19 November 2011 12:08

Ha ha ha ha. I can just picture it.

Comments

Krazygye 0

Sunday 20 November 2011 14:16

sorry fatman. this calls for a redo

ladeizy 0

Sunday 20 November 2011 17:56

Lolllll i pictured it to hahahahahahahah

rastafunk 0

Sunday 20 November 2011 20:37

If you want to win put a twinky at the end. No jk I'm not that mean. ;3

sakana_fml 7

Sunday 20 November 2011 20:57

I'm surprised everyone is actually making supportive jokes for Dan. I must be on a different website.

Harrisonwoody 3

Monday 21 November 2011 1:35

U stupid !!!

Jaws1240 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 3:57

FAT PEOPLE UNITE!

LilyZombie 8

Tuesday 22 November 2011 18:07

Picturing it in slow motion with "we are the champions" made for an epic Lol moment :) thanks for sharing.

sincerelyticee 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 5:33

hi-la-rious

indielover5678 0

Wednesday 28 December 2011 20:07

Awwh! Too cute. Don't be embarrassed! Just tell everyone you used the force to stop them from running coz you didn't want them to distract you ;) xx

jacob4592 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:02

Wow

Keywords

Management Work Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Health Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 159

You deserved it 11 993

Today, and for weeks now, I was sure my underwear was going missing. I found out why. My husband's brother has been stealing them whenever he visits, presumably to masturbate with. I literally caught him shoving an unwashed pair into his pocket he'd stolen from my laundry pile. Creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 62

The Top

Today, my mother used climate change as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 204

You deserved it 2 741

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 337

You deserved it 3 444

Today, I was in a fancy department store. I was wearing my travel backpack. I was turning around after paying at the checkout and my backpack hit a metre-tall display covered with necklaces. It went crashing to the floor, hitting another display table laden with jewelry that collapsed under it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 105

You deserved it 10 815

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 100

You deserved it 66 657

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 13 808

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 785

You deserved it 38 444

Same thing different taste

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