Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
Today, my kid's dad grumbled and complained about having to help me out buying clothes for him, because he was sure he just gave me money for clothes last year. I thought it would be fairly obvious that a 4 year-old would eventually need bigger clothes to accommodate the fact they are still growing. FML
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
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Top comments
honeycutt8729 8
Hilarious
SoSickWithIt 14
..What is that mysterious ticking noise? ..Snape. ..Snape... Severus Snape. ..Harry Potter, Harry Potter! :D
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Comments (645)
yummcookie 0
That's fantastic, but I'm hoping you don't find several years of chores a fair trade for jeans.
highonlife10 0
Haha why is this an fml? Your daughter is a harry potter fan!
milady666 2
Lol I love it
1030295 6
Your daughter is awesome.
lucik4690 9
That is hands down one of the best things I've ever heard
ImafukNskittleYO 4
Hey, keep her away from all thing hard and pointy, Dobby is still unstable.
PurpleGreenLove 6
She is a legend !!
Knash 3
Haha. You if you would have bought her socks that would have been even funnier lol.
elliotb94 9
Great banter.
KaitlynxD 5
You must be so strict! One pair of jeans after several years of work. What has she been wearing all this time? It's not even as if jeans are a luxury.. They're more of a necessity.
courtneyann211 10
You can't say you never got a special reward for doing chores?! They could have been a special pair that OP's daughter has been wanting. Then again you probably think cleaning your room is too much of a chore.
aleishaa_jadee 13
This is a fair statement to make but several years for one pair of jeans seems over the top :/
MissHayleyJames 7
Not if they're expensive designer jeans.
aleishaa_jadee 13
I guess but even still, after several years most people don't even want the same jeans/shoes or whatever anymore.