By Julian - 05/05/2021 02:01
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Abandon ship! She wants the security of the marriage and none of the responsibility.
Sex is not a responsibility, nor does anyone owe it to anyone (sex work aside). But yes, abandon ship. She definitely wants all the security while not being interested whatsoever in your needs or feelings
Sex, or at least sexual exclusivity is generally part of most people's expectation of marriage (If they agree on an open marriage beforehand, that's their prerogative.) It's not a "you have to have sex whenever I want," at least not in western society or anywhere with decent women's rights but it is a "you will have sex with me and no one else." So wanting the financial and emotional security of marriage without sexual exclusivity is reneging one of the key responsibilities under the implied agreement you made when getting married. And asking to change that years later, you can't really expect your spouse to just go along with it.
But does she want you to do the same? Many marriages are open, but it has to be mutual and an agreed-upon situation, otherwise it's time to end it and move on.
Even if she is willing to allow it, it doesn't mean that it's acceptable to OP. OP and his wife entered the marriage with the idea of exclusivity, so if he's staying in the marriage then he has the right to expect her to be exclusive. If she doesn't want that, then get divorced, but don't blame that on OP.
I would say, sign right here on these divorce papers if you want that privilege. Part of that "perfect life together" was the promise of fidelity. And if you can't do that, go right on out that door. And don't ask for alimony, and don't lie about why you're leaving to yourself and others.