Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML
Today, when I woke up, I quickly pulled the bed sheet with my right arm to get out of the bed. I failed to notice that a big portion of the sheet was pinned under my body. My arm dislocated and I fainted because of the pain. Great way to start the day. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML
Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML
Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
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Top comments
snafu57 1
you're lucky your arm didn't fall asleep during the day,or else it'd be up all night.
krivedko 0
don't be so boring!! this story is much better than all that whiny shit posted by losers and nerds!
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Comments (103)
ipwnallmen 10
well youre just like a turtlekudos for those who get the reference
coco666maggot 3
Okay...that was funny as Hell xD
Eponine_fml 0
It happens to me almost every morning. HOW is this an FML???
LilaBear 2
Umm, pretty sure this has happened to everyone. (ie, being startled by a dead arm/hand... perhaps not the screaming and hitting bit)
KokoFR_fml 0
Not exactly a FML to me, but it's funny enough to be told here! :)
StrickenNerve 0
Hahaha, FYL.
danmmcd 0
that has happened to my arm before, and if anything, i would post it on MLIA...
maggiewalters 17
been there, done that but i didnt scream... oO
infantry831 0
your lucky everyone thinks your a fruit cake. that's what you get you fruit. go kick rocks
tomc666 0
that should be "you're lucky" since it was used to compound the words "you" and "are".
Peroxide 3
and then you masturbated. We call that one "the stranger".