Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML
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Top comments
beacbum7 7
Maybe she wasn't interested so she tried to get you to dislike her?
Mr_Mole 24
I'll have her instead then. There's nothing wrong with a down to earth girl that finds that funny.
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Comments (140)
saIty 17
What would have been more impressive was if no one had expected her of doing it.
walmartpaysme 15
Did you mean "suspected"?
billyw02 5
Salty, I love your photo. "Dinkelburg..."
Scotttles23 2
What a "lady"!
shadexilmaendu 4
How dare girls talk about the same things as men!
LiterOfCola 16
21: I'd never spend a dinner talking about farts to a girl I'm dating. I don't know why people agree with you.
dangousity 21
Sex change girl?
rocker_chick105 31
Yes, because only guys fart, burp, poop, and what not. They must be a sex change girl.... (sarcasm)
MuldRAR 6
Maybe you should have smelt her before you dealt her?... Truely awful I'm ashamed of myself
FistToBalls 3
It was worth a try
katie4818 8
Looks like you've got quite the charmer on your hands.
xiaodoggiie 5
If you truly like her then maybe you should try to accept her good and bad.
TheSuperSpicer 6
Sounds like a conversation I would be having with my boyfriend. The difference is that we would both be laughing about it.
cath_1211 5
That's awesome. You should be glad that you've met a girl who's down to earth and who isn't uptight. My boyfriend and I always joke about that kind of stuff.
DocBastard 40
Great, now I have "She's a Lady" by Tom Jones stuck in my head. Yeah, that's just how my brain works.
xalba 9
She sounds like a keeper!