Love: Oh, totally

Oh, totally

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 491

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Random Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 769

You deserved it 40 931

By Terri-Lynn - 30/05/2012 20:25 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 792

You deserved it 4 429

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 313

You deserved it 4 022

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 832

You deserved it 3 074

Plumbing issues

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 04:01 - Denmark - Viby

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 80

By Mary - 10/07/2011 12:49 - United States

Today, my husband decided he needs to be thanked after every time he changes our daughter's diaper; if not he throws a temper tantrum. Now I have two babies to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 366

You deserved it 6 828

Guts of steel

By Anonymous - 25/07/2023 12:00

Today, my husband and I shared a chinese prawn dinner. I now have the most violent shits I’ve ever experienced in my life. He is completely fine and keeps rubbing it in my face by being able to eat his meals without throwing them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 138

Natural birth

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 04:01

Today, during labor, I farted every time I pushed with very deep sounds. I was so ashamed. I pushed so hard, I pooped and splashed the nurse in front of me right in the face. Everyone stopped laughing and the nurse didn’t talk until baby came. When my husband called my in-laws, it’s the first thing he told them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 169

The joys of motherhood

By Bear - 24/05/2022 00:01

Today, I've had such bad constipation during my fourth pregnancy that I have now had to manually scoop the poop out of my ass to get things moving again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 171

Two speeds

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 68

snafu57 1

Friday 8 January 2010 20:31

tell him to shit two bowling balls and then come back and report

shenanighenz 0

Friday 8 January 2010 20:03

Sometimes when I get really gassy and take a bad poop it gives me flashbacks to giving birth. So I don't think he's that far off.

Comments

capthavoc123 0

Friday 8 January 2010 23:56

15-year-olds always overreact to the stupidest things.

marycharles 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 0:04

shut the hell up 74

CyclonePsycho 1

Saturday 9 January 2010 0:08

Can transexuals experience both? I'm curious.

jamjenni2774 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 0:35

and u married that

somepartsareme 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 1:09

You know calling people names and offering to suck off anyone who agrees with you isn't helping your case, disturbedfan?

somepartsareme 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 1:32

Like I said on an earlier post, free will, it's a good thing to have. And just because you don't like something, no other mature people do? Just like a 15-year-old. (Sarcasm, because you obviously couldn't tell from 74)