Oh, hai Mark

By sucky sucky - 07/07/2020 14:01

Today, my crush, who’s notorious for only dating skinny girls, walked out of the break room. I turned to my friend and joked, “I may not be skinny, but I can suck a jawbreaker through a boba straw!” Turns out he came back because he forgot his phone. He most definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 718
You deserved it 1 787

Same thing different taste

Top comments


TorreyTurner 3

You know, achieving high vacuum is not a desirable effect in fellatio. Sucking is just a figure of speech, not a quantity to be maximized!

bloopaloop 27

You’re a pump operating at zero flow rate. Any engineers in the room???

That is, until the jawbreaker breaks free of the boba straw and then there will be a sudden flow of air into the sucker's lungs.

bloopaloop 27

Pressure across a pump is called head. Higher the pressure differential the lower the flow. At zero flow rate the pump is giving “maximum head”

tounces7 27

So your crush is a notorious shallow womanizer. Maybe raise your standards a bit before you go out and buy another boba straw.

tounces7 27

You don't become "Notorious" for dating skinny girls if you aren't a womanizer. That would indicate he has dated a significant number of them.

You can still have a friends-with-benefits thing with him. He can close his eyes, and pretend he's getting blown by a skinny girl, and you can see if you're able to suck his **** so hard you end up sucking his testicles right outta his nutsack. It won't be a meaningful relationship, and you're definitely not gonna grow old together, dying in each other's arms surrounded by 3 generations of your family, but it will be a lot of superficial fun, and in the end, what matters most is how awesome it was to suck your crush's ****, even if he was never attracted to you.

wrenavery90 12

Oh come on. You obviously wanted him to hear you.