Oh, hai Mark

By sucky sucky - 07/07/2020 14:01

Spicy
Today, my crush, who’s notorious for only dating skinny girls, walked out of the break room. I turned to my friend and joked, “I may not be skinny, but I can suck a jawbreaker through a boba straw!” Turns out he came back because he forgot his phone. He most definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 708
You deserved it 1 698

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Top comments

Ok, when is your date with him?

TorreyTurner 3

Shoot your shot

Comments

Ok, when is your date with him?

How are you with sucking chrome?

TorreyTurner 3

Shoot your shot

You know, achieving high vacuum is not a desirable effect in fellatio. Sucking is just a figure of speech, not a quantity to be maximized!

bloopaloop 27

You’re a pump operating at zero flow rate. Any engineers in the room???

That is, until the jawbreaker breaks free of the boba straw and then there will be a sudden flow of air into the sucker's lungs.

bloopaloop 27

Pressure across a pump is called head. Higher the pressure differential the lower the flow. At zero flow rate the pump is giving “maximum head”

True, but that's not the BEP.

tounces7 27

So your crush is a notorious shallow womanizer. Maybe raise your standards a bit before you go out and buy another boba straw.

Guess I missed the womanizer part....

tounces7 27

You don't become "Notorious" for dating skinny girls if you aren't a womanizer. That would indicate he has dated a significant number of them.

Idk seems like your way in

You can still have a friends-with-benefits thing with him. He can close his eyes, and pretend he's getting blown by a skinny girl, and you can see if you're able to suck his cock so hard you end up sucking his testicles right outta his nutsack. It won't be a meaningful relationship, and you're definitely not gonna grow old together, dying in each other's arms surrounded by 3 generations of your family, but it will be a lot of superficial fun, and in the end, what matters most is how awesome it was to suck your crush's cock, even if he was never attracted to you.

wrenavery90 12

Oh come on. You obviously wanted him to hear you.