Work Nostradamus - FML

Nostradamus

johnnyfuckfacer - 18/10/2012 19:40 - Canada - Concord

Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversely impacting morale". FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

KnightToucan - 21/06/2019 02:09

Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML

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hatemyjob - 27/10/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

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But…

I hate my job - 23/12/2014 08:14 - Canada - Delta

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

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The blame game

unemployed - 20/04/2013 00:16 - El Salvador - San Salvador

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

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hanmart - 15/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

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Snitched

sixxie - 29/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

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robert - 31/01/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

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jalisc512 - 21/08/2014 20:16 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

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his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

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Miss_Kat - 29/08/2019 00:01

Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML

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Major_Whupass 3

Friday 19 October 2012 2:21

How's the weather Ollie? It's raining sideways!

lilhellian 26

Friday 19 October 2012 2:45

congress

neurodoc 1

Friday 19 October 2012 3:16

You had better odds of getting it right by tossing a coin than trusting a met report.

whiteboy896 9

Friday 19 October 2012 3:25

Lol whata douche, nice name though op. :)

TrailblazerSS 5

Friday 19 October 2012 3:48

Well you deserved it because you can obviously control the weather!! NOT. Your boss jerk.

doglover100 28

Friday 19 October 2012 3:57

He is stupid.

kelseyycakes 2

Friday 19 October 2012 4:23

The only time your boss would be right is, of course, if you were a meteorologist. But you're probably not. So he is a dick.

PipingMouse 14

Friday 19 October 2012 4:33

Tell your boss to go outside, and see how the weather is. Then tell HIM to predict the weather for tomorrow.

sweetsammiedee21 6

Friday 19 October 2012 5:10

..

dajojonater 3

Friday 19 October 2012 5:10

Dont be a weatherman. Let them take the shit. But that sucks

sugarshane007 20

Friday 19 October 2012 5:46

Even with your horrible weather prediction, you probably were still more accurate than the local weather forecast.

Garulf 7

Friday 19 October 2012 6:50

hmm, i moderated something like this yesterday, but then it was a construction company and impacting productivity...

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after living with my mom for years to save money I finally moved into my first condo. The day after I made my first mortgage payment the sewage system back up and leaked into my bedroom from outside, ruining the carpets and the walls. I have to move back in with my mom until it’s fixed. FML

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Today, I really wanted Anne Hathaway bangs, and let my mom cut my hair. I now look like Patty Farrell from "Diary of a Wimpy Kid". FML

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Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

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Today, I went to the doctor's office for a regular check up. They found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, so I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was hickeys from my boyfriend. FML

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Today, I realized that my husband's family hates me for something I did 10 years ago. When I was 18. I’m so done apologizing for it. My daughter does not deserve to see her mother treated like this. FML

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Today, I had to pee at work. I ended up using all the toilet paper. When I opened the door to leave, a dude was waiting to use the washroom. I told him there was no more toilet paper. He goes, “You finished all of it?” I panicked and said, “No, I didn’t use any!” FML

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