Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
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Top comments
duckie227 22
That's not where that goes, hate to break it to you
Jdeluxh 12
You must really suck at making pb&j sandwiches.
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Comments (67)
blackman100 20
That does not happen
noodleboix 10
i don't care what u did or how it happened, u probably deserved it
MsMeiriona 2
Since when is crying difficult?
_words_of_wisdom 4
you know how hard it is to get peanut butter off the top of your mouth? well your saliva has a bit of acidity to it, an acidity that tears do not have (if they did, your eyes would burn out of your skull) so if your saliva has a hard time getting if out then just imagine the difficulty and unbearable pain getting peanut butter out of your MOTHER ******* EYE would be like. we dont know the whole story so i dont know if it was his fault, maybe he failed at spreading peanut butter or someone may have flicked peanut butter at him just to be an asshole but i can say this, after having many things, from tree bark to entire sticks in my eyes over the years, i definitely understand how painful it can be, you have probably lived a pampered life in which there has been no chance of anything ever damaging your "itty bitty eyes". you have no idea how painful an ordinary object is when it is lodged in your eye so you cannot even begin to imagine what peanut butter is like. so unless you have something intelligent to say, shut the **** up.
FweakofCydonia 40
How does one get peanut butter in their eye?
turnupthemusic94 0
Did you miss the bread??
aJaguarinRed 9
As opposed to removing it from someone else'a eye??? O.o
suzy123abc 0
GOOD JOB! *high five*
blackman100 20
That just doesn't happen.
iamawesome1234 0
Forever alone
kareltje 17
Try a light bulb in your mouth. They say you won't get it out anymore once you have it in.