Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
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Top comments
duckie227 22
That's not where that goes, hate to break it to you
Jdeluxh 12
You must really suck at making pb&j sandwiches.
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Comments (67)
toricakes 7
Your dog raped you again?
ScarletBloom 14
You need an eyesjob.
rastafunk 0
Um, yum?
iliketurdles 7
That could be your new thing. Comment in rhymes. I'd certainly enjoy reading it.
DocBastard 38
You're all idiots. Obviously OP was trying to remove the chewing gum that had gotten stuck in his eye earlier.
FMLinCA 12
how hard it was? as opposed to how easy it was that it got in your eye to begin with? lol.
BlAzEtHiS 0
How does one get peanut butter in the eye in the first place?
GrizzlierAdams 4
Peanut Butter Smack!
KiddNYC1O 20
Oh, leave it, the mice will enjoy feasting on your eye.
STP907 8
Peanut Butter Smack!