Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
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Top comments
duckie227 22
That's not where that goes, hate to break it to you
Jdeluxh 12
You must really suck at making pb&j sandwiches.
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Comments (67)
EPICROCKERNINJA 8
How did you get it there in the first place?
tyrrell030491 7
Yeah just HOW did it get there?!
LullzKitteh 1
lmao @62!
mamabear2011 5
who does that? penut butter on the eye.
14natkatprat 0
Peanut butter + eyeball = confusion for me. Lol
jonnynasty 0
Mr peanut just busted a nut in your face, sorry bro.
thetoiletpaper 3
you missed?
drmountaindeww 0
I don't even wanna know...
Fulldemonstorm 10
sounds like a fun night
Fulldemonstorm 10
sounds like a fun night
bubbles42597 0
Did u miss your mouth?