Family, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Mortifying

Mortifying

By whatashame - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 560

You deserved it 80 762

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Dad!

By ScarredDaughter - 29/03/2016 05:01 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 270

You deserved it 2 002

By smf_ds - 31/07/2015 20:48 - Portugal - Rebordosa

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 090

You deserved it 2 230

Nice view

By Sexting Parents - 16/11/2012 02:45 - United States - Short Hills

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 759

By Anonymous - 25/06/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 988

You deserved it 6 547

Fact of scratching

By Anonymous - 24/01/2020 14:00

I agree, your life sucks 3 425

You deserved it 309

Moobs

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 015

You deserved it 54 727

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 604

You deserved it 300

By fml - 03/09/2013 06:31 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 552

You deserved it 12 109

Content warning

By imblue42 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 601

You deserved it 3 796

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 525

You deserved it 4 182

PlasticShark 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:31

YDI for even wanting to pat the belly in the first place... that's just... disturbing... =

sarah8909 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:30

So the jewels were sticking out where you were patting or you just didn't bother looking and decided to pat him in that general area? YDI

Comments

Tick_fml 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 2:09

all i can say is: LOLLLLLLLLLL!!

pommeblossom 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 2:16

AHAHAHHA! THAT SUCKS SO BAD!

Linx_fml 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 2:20

INCEST!!!!! :O, ha its actually hilarous he never said anything. maybe he was enjoying it? maybe ull get payed...?

zoomster 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 2:41

AWKWARD.

vuhneedah 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 3:25

LOL how do you confuse your dad's stomach with THAT ? i was readin the comments...and maybe they just patted it two times really quickly you knoww ?

tropmignon 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 3:34

HHAAHAHHAHA #32 totalllllly. id just pack up and move out, because the next few weeks are gonna be AWKWARRRRD. hahah i feel so bad for you.

jku1293 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 4:07

Your dad must have huge testicles so as to be even compared in size with his fat stomach. There is either someone wrong with you, or with your dad, or quite possible both.