Save yourself

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 22:01

Today, I had to offer my boyfriend a no-hard-feelings opportunity to just leave. He never wanted to be a dad, but since we accidentally got pregnant and had our son, I’ve watched his mental health go downhill so fast I was afraid he’d kill himself if he kept forcing himself to stay with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 391
You deserved it 248

Same thing different taste

Top comments

This is incredibly sad, OP, my heart goes out to you. Take care.

I'm very sorry, OP. Even though you told him he could leave, which is highly generous of you, ensure he still pays child support.

Comments

This is incredibly sad, OP, my heart goes out to you. Take care.

I'm very sorry, OP. Even though you told him he could leave, which is highly generous of you, ensure he still pays child support.

If you think he's crazy enough to kill himself, why isn't he crazy enough to try to kill you or your baby first? You need to get him out of your life, regardless of the hardness of the feelings. If you think he's really lost it and may commit mass mayhem, send him to a Trump rally.

What the hell is wrong with you? Just because someone might be suicidal doesn't make them a full on murderer. This person is going through some hard shit, this comment adds nothing to the conversation and doesn't help them at all. OP said nothing about him wanting to kill her or their child. Again, I can't stress this enough, wanting to kill yourself is VERY VERY different than wanting to kill others. What if they don't feel worthy enough to bring up the child? What if raising a child is too much pressure for him? You don't know their situation! Stop making such dumbass assumptions and mind your own business. Not even to mention your trump rally comment. Nobody said anything about politics or trump, but you had to add in that last statement. The amount of assumptions you made when writing that comment is honestly horrible. OP is in a tough situation, your comment isn't helping anything.

bobsanction 18

Suicidal and homicidal are two very different things you idiot.

No, they are not. They are actually quite similar and overlap in many ways. You're the idiot.

Thanatos999 3

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Hey. Guess what. People who have protected sex can still get pregnant. My co-worker's husband got his tubes tied after their first three. They have four now.

Nhayaa2.0 17

I'm tired of reading this kind of judgemental comments... 70% of women who get an abortion used a protection or are on birth pill but they all can fail. End of the discussion.

If he's crying and moaning now, just wait till he's paying child support. You be sure he pays child support. I paid almost $20k in taxes last year, will pay around $30k in taxes this year and I don't want to pay his child support. i don't care if he's sleeping under a bridge and decides to jump from it. Just take his money.

ArieScorpio 3

Been there and I am an only parent now. Unfortunately, sometimes that’s what is best for everyone. It’s tough but you can do it.

DoctorPALO 14

I am so sorry that you're in this situation, but honestly feel that he's being a total dick. If he ABSOLUTELY 💯 didn't want to be a dad, 2 things-get fixed or don't have sex. I don't care how careful you are, the potential for pregnancy ALWAYS exists if you're having p-i-v sex. He should be able to think about this stuff BEFORE you accidentally got pregnant, so HE DESERVES IT.

Honestly some people are better parents from the sidelines. Hopefully he can get himself stable, and then be a father in some way. my father never lived in town, but was still in my life a ton. maybe in OPs case they will try and be part of the child's life even if they can't do so as well as they hoped. and knowing now is better than when the child is old enough to know dad walked out. it isn't weird for the kid if it's all they know. keep the door open for parenthood, and let the father fix their shit. Hopefully they can still be a good parent in some form. I have distant parents, walkouts and shitty present parents. i would always pick distance.

Peri/post-natal depression and anxiety can happen to partners too. Especially in cases of unplanned pregnancies. It might not happen as much as in the case of the birthing parent, but it's hardly uncommon. Especially alongside a global pandemic, as that makes it even harder for people to deal with things emotionally. I hope he got help.

Sucks for both of you. The poor guy made it clear this was something he never wanted, and he got conscripted into it anyway. He'll never not be a dad. You can't blame him for feeling the way he does.