Miscellaneous: Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's...

By caseyl - Finland - Espoo

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

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caseyl tells us more :

Op here. My dad has a car repair shop and the biker gang rented the property next door. So he decided the smartest move would be to intimidate them to make sure they won't cause trouble. Which, I'm pretty sure, is going to cause a shitload of trouble...

Miscellaneous

Instadrama

Triage

Get the message, dude

By avalanche719 - United States

Today, I went to pay my vehicle registration in person to avoid paying the $10.00 online service fee. After a long wait, I came out to find a $15.00 parking ticket on my car. FML

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17714

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By JealousBratMuch - Canada - High River

Today, my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family and will no longer communicate with any of us. Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her, and she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'. FML

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48151

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By DoesNotLikeCubes - Qatar

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

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40529

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By mademoiselle meurtre - United States - Belleville

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

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32057

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By seriouslybored - United States

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

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10410

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By Weekdae - 9/12/2020 09:01 - United States - Litchfield Park

Grammar police alert

Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML

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317

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By Olihime - United Kingdom

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

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14040

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By notacatperson - United Kingdom

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

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40965

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By littlemissgullible - United States

Today, I was talking to an ex who I still love. He told me how much he wanted to see me, how much he missed me, and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house. I mentioned Saturday, and he said, "I can't, I have to take my fiancée to the doctor's to find out our baby's sex." FML

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34048

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By mastel07 - United Kingdom - Stevenage

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML

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19216

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By Yulia - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

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By ronnieG - United States - Decatur

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

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63230

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By Anonymous

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

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1839

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By anon - Canada - Goderich

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

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38699

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By SwimSquid - United States

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

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136301

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8068

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By Tanya

Today, I found shit smeared into the carpet and I wasn’t sure who to blame, the dog, the newborn baby or the 60-year-old alcoholic mother-in-law whose husband had finally thrown her out. I did eventually find her passed out drunk in my flower bed with shit all down her legs though. FML

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2231

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126

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

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15165

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By oh shit - United States - Palatine

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

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By "Mel Hahn"

Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML

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3628

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By Ann - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

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By lucywatson - United Kingdom

Today, working as a veterinarian, I received a complaint from a client. He said I sucked at my job, purely because I implied he should have brought his severely ill cat in a lot sooner. Which he should have. FML

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14238

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my camera down 4 flights of circular stairs from the top of a lighthouse. Everything worked, it just had a few dents. Then, as I went to put it in my pocket, I missed. It fell 3 feet and hit the floor. Now it won't turn on. FML

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31845

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By Anonymous - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

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29822

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2088

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By jonloran - United States - Incline Village

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

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25620

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By biggieT - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Actor's Studio

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

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33862

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By Cornbreesha - United States

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

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36874

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By vanguardwiley - United States

Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML

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48545

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By Jon - United States

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

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By Stupid

Today, I found out my son has been lying about being sick. He kept complaining so I took him to the doctor and got him some medicine. Now he’s actually sick because he took meds he didn’t even need. He did it solely so he could get an expensive get well soon gift. FML

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By that was mine - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

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35749

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By N - United States - Glenwood Springs

Today, I paid 60 dollars for my senior yearbook. They forgot to put me in it. FML

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14485

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

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35685

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By deflower - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

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36601

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By iJehx - United States

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

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10416

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

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26313

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2689

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By Anonymous

Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML

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35552

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2716

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By james - United Kingdom

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

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28966

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By hated - United States

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

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25455

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2833

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By kittyjoe - Australia

Today, while feeling sorry for myself that I can't find a guy, a girl on the talk show I was watching said, "You're never gonna find a guy sitting at home in your jammies with the cat." I'm sitting at home in my jammies with the cat. FML

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1328

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By Anonymous

No Chick-Hating on Easter!

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend of 13 years. He broke up with me because "Chicks can't propose, that's gay!" FML

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Top comments

By garf3265 | 12

#6263600 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

that's kind of impressive

By Steve95401 | 49

#6263601 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

And what was he trying to accomplish by saying that?

COMMENTS

By garf3265 | 12

#6263600 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

that's kind of impressive

Swandive235 | 27

#6263639 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:40

He is trying to get them to stay away from his property apparently.

socialproduct | 19

#6263670 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 19:27

yes, impressive. But I don't really see how it negatively impacted OP's life. doesn't really feel like an FML.

gracehi | 31

#6263695 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:02

Personally, I think this is awesome!

zykrithium | 22

#6271293 - Thursday 23 April 2015 22:41

Impressive until they get attacked

By Steve95401 | 49

#6263601 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

And what was he trying to accomplish by saying that?

ALegitOreo | 11

#6263721 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:37

Only reason I could think of is so they don't mess with him.

iLike2Teabag | 27

#6263786 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 22:11

Trying to convince them that "in Soviet Russia, bike ride you"

By bryce0110 | 23

#6263603 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

I bet they're Russian around together.

LilsBills300 | 19

#6263746 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 21:15

Aaaaaahhhhh

By missyfiona89 | 28

#6263604 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

FTRL

teresa96706 | 29

#6263658 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 19:06

What does that acronym mean?

Redoxx_fml | 22

#6263714 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:26

Fuck the Russian language ?

AmyPond17 | 33

#6263715 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:26

Fuck the Russians Life/lives maybe?

GoingCommando93 | 14

#6263742 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 21:04

Fuck the riders' lives?

By Pizzapiggy1 | 18

#6263605 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

Well you better start Russian out of town before the biker gang finds out about the lie
*ba dum tss*

HarshD9619 | 34

#6263630 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:31

The quality of puns on FML is sadly deteriorating

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6263634 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:34

Are you Finnished, 23?

By Redoxx_fml | 22

#6263606 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:13

How the hell did he manage that ?

By Sammy_rawrr | 13

#6263607 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:13

Interesting

By FusionPlacebo | 26

#6263608 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:13

Does this mean you'll be their next victim or safe from them now?

By codytallica | 38

#6263609 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:14

Are there many hardcore biker gangs on Finland?

Zarcissa | 34

#6263618 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:20

#10: As a Finn I tell you: None. Only time they've been on news is when the cops raid their hideouts.

elusiveshame | 22

#6263674 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 19:33

So there are none until they show up on TV?

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6263685 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 19:49

They are all undercover hardcore biker gangs.

By Krystal3408 | 32

#6263610 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:15

What's the point of doing that?

SMHsohard | 22

#6264025 - Thursday 16 April 2015 3:15

Keeps them from beating the crap out of him perhaps??