Miscellaneous: Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's...

By caseyl - Finland - Espoo

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

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caseyl tells us more :

Op here. My dad has a car repair shop and the biker gang rented the property next door. So he decided the smartest move would be to intimidate them to make sure they won't cause trouble. Which, I'm pretty sure, is going to cause a shitload of trouble...

Miscellaneous

Understandable

Messed up

Covid 19 ain't going anywhere

By beekie9 - United States

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

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25177

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By Anonymous - United States

Smells like… victory

Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

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By Chance115

Today, my knee was dislocated. At a haunted house. By a midget. FML

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2574

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282

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By AwesomePGnarles - United States

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

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14661

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44399

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By Emyka - Austria

Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML

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12265

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By pincushion - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a CT scan done with contrast. My tech seemed competent in his job so I wasn't nervous, until he tried to start my IV. It took him 3 attempts to get it right. Not only was I stuck 3 times, he also blew one of my veins. I now have severely bruised arms and what look like track marks. FML

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20038

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl has a crush on me. Too bad it's my co-worker's five year old granddaughter. FML

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40113

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By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

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26419

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By toadface - United States

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

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By sister of an angry nerd

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

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23277

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By John - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

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By hatinthelife - United States

Over and out

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML

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34480

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By not a phobe - 16/7/2020 08:02

Misunderstood

Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML

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By Tanuki_paws - United States - Phoenix

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

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23588

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By KelseNM

Today, I've been diagnosed with an incurable condition in both eyes that is making me go blind. I lost my job and had to drop out of my final year in college because of this. Then my ex found out and stole my car since I "won't need it". FML

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3229

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119

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By pinkrazorsare4men

Today, whilst taking a shower, I noticed my razor wasn't in its usual spot. Upon inspecting it closer, I noticed that there were tiny white hairs in it. When confronting my father about it, he claimed the "pink razors" are his. We've been sharing the same razor this entire time. FML

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9794

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860

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By anon - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

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57797

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By Joseph N - United States

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

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By misc - United States

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

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By frustrated - United Kingdom

Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML

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38601

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By K123 - United States

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend telling me he still likes me and might love me too. Later I asked him if he really meant it and his response was "I don't know. I was high." FML

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By U_U - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

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55919

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

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69746

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5605

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By Anonymous - Australia

Welcoming

Today, I was having lunch with my fiancé's family. After he excused himself to use the bathroom, his grandmother glared at me, sneered, "I never liked you" and kept eating while the others smirked. When my fiancé returned, everyone pretended nothing had happened. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

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26732

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By fashionVictim - United States

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

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By MickyIsEVIL - Japan - Nagoya

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

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By Lo

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

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65685

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By uglyswimmer - United States

Denied

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her, "That guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, that's my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said, "EW." FML

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57528

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By Soap0015 - United States

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

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25096

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By Stung - United States

Today, I found out that bees like to make hives in odd places, like in your vintage car's trunk. I also found out that they don't like it when you break their hive in half when you open the trunk to get out a spare tire. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I folded a stack of 2,500 brochures for the new exhibit we're putting on at the museum where I work. As I was finishing up, I got an email. The dates have just been changed, so all the brochures have to be reprinted and refolded. FML

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29168

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By Anonymous - Australia

Smell good

Today, I was doing the laundry and changing the bed sheets. I found most of my underwear under my step daughters bed, when I asked her, she said that she liked the way they smelled. FML

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2547

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180

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By Payte

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

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By SMRT - United States - Chattanooga

Geography for Dummies

Today, I had an argument with my dad about Venice being in Italy, not Spain. He wouldn't believe me, and had to Google it. He's an engineer for an aerospace company. FML

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1392

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By crap - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

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40868

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By Anonymous - 20/1/2021 11:02

Too Much Information

Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the sheriff's department finally gave me mom's phone back. FML

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885

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134

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By Molly - United States

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

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13278

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By mike oxsmall - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

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Top comments

By garf3265 | 12

#6263600 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

that's kind of impressive

By Steve95401 | 49

#6263601 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

And what was he trying to accomplish by saying that?

COMMENTS

By garf3265 | 12

#6263600 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

that's kind of impressive

Swandive235 | 27

#6263639 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:40

He is trying to get them to stay away from his property apparently.

socialproduct | 19

#6263670 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 19:27

yes, impressive. But I don't really see how it negatively impacted OP's life. doesn't really feel like an FML.

gracehi | 31

#6263695 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:02

Personally, I think this is awesome!

zykrithium | 22

#6271293 - Thursday 23 April 2015 22:41

Impressive until they get attacked

By Steve95401 | 49

#6263601 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

And what was he trying to accomplish by saying that?

ALegitOreo | 11

#6263721 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:37

Only reason I could think of is so they don't mess with him.

iLike2Teabag | 27

#6263786 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 22:11

Trying to convince them that "in Soviet Russia, bike ride you"

By bryce0110 | 23

#6263603 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

I bet they're Russian around together.

LilsBills300 | 19

#6263746 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 21:15

Aaaaaahhhhh

By missyfiona89 | 28

#6263604 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

FTRL

teresa96706 | 29

#6263658 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 19:06

What does that acronym mean?

Redoxx_fml | 22

#6263714 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:26

Fuck the Russian language ?

AmyPond17 | 33

#6263715 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 20:26

Fuck the Russians Life/lives maybe?

GoingCommando93 | 14

#6263742 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 21:04

Fuck the riders' lives?

By Pizzapiggy1 | 18

#6263605 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:12

Well you better start Russian out of town before the biker gang finds out about the lie
*ba dum tss*

HarshD9619 | 34

#6263630 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:31

The quality of puns on FML is sadly deteriorating

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6263634 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:34

Are you Finnished, 23?

By Redoxx_fml | 22

#6263606 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:13

How the hell did he manage that ?

By Sammy_rawrr | 13

#6263607 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:13

Interesting

By FusionPlacebo | 26

#6263608 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:13

Does this mean you'll be their next victim or safe from them now?

By codytallica | 38

#6263609 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:14

Are there many hardcore biker gangs on Finland?

Zarcissa | 34

#6263618 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:20

#10: As a Finn I tell you: None. Only time they've been on news is when the cops raid their hideouts.

elusiveshame | 22

#6263674 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 19:33

So there are none until they show up on TV?

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6263685 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 19:49

They are all undercover hardcore biker gangs.

By Krystal3408 | 32

#6263610 - Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:15

What's the point of doing that?

SMHsohard | 22

#6264025 - Thursday 16 April 2015 3:15

Keeps them from beating the crap out of him perhaps??