Miscellaneous: Landlocked - FML

Landlocked

By kayak probs - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Newtown

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 637

You deserved it 26 278

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Same thing different taste

Need beer now

By Jensen - 16/07/2021 07:01 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 453

Pirate move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 723

You deserved it 26 865

By Rakoric - 16/04/2017 22:00

Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 852

You deserved it 422

By Anonymous - 10/06/2019 20:00

Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 887

Nature is healing

By KeysToHappiness - 16/08/2015 12:39 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 473

You deserved it 8 686

By Tori Pearson - 27/06/2011 04:21 - Canada

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 762

You deserved it 6 899

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I created a 3D sculpture for a competition that I was hoping might impress some people, and maybe lead to a job with a particular company. I finished it last night for the competition, but this morning I realised it’s too big to get it out of my front door without taking it apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 275

Anger management

By truecountrybitch - 09/05/2020 23:00

Today, my boyfriend got frustrated trying to take my entertainment center into the basement, for the kids' game room. It didn't fit, thanks to the horrible design of the house, so he Spartan-kicked it down, breaking it into 15 pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 236

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 18:14 - United States

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 53 121

FINNBY boss

By danny - 03/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 460

Next

Top comments

UnoriGal 17

Tuesday 30 July 2013 18:43

Anyone else thinking of NCIS while reading this? OP should try and disassemble the kayak into parts that can make it out the door then reassemble it, no? (I have no idea whether that would actually work with kayaks though...) Either way, good luck, OP!

BntyHntrSeattle 30

Tuesday 30 July 2013 18:40

Well... better start over outside!

Comments

RavenZea 6

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:05

Got Gibbs? Lol. Sorry, OP. It just sounds like something from NCIS.

kazmie 8

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:06

you clearly didn't think that through before you started the project.

wisericky 12

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:08

Flood your basement once a month and have a good time. :D

seacadet 18

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:10

Good job, Gibs.

Cinn_fml 22

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:58

You missed the 2nd 'b' that stands for bastard. :P

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:12

How big is your kayak that you can't fit it through a normal size door? I didn't have any problems getting mine in and out of the basement.

kpc2424 13

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:16

Next time build it in the bathroom, that'd fix ya!

buddy51 23

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:21

Clearly, OP, you must destroy your house to free the boat! Get going, it's home wrecking massive demolition time!! Happy paddling, now that you're homeless and free to travel the waterways of the world!!

R5luver 5

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:22

Well I guess it's time to rebuild a new one in the garage!!

frontmanmike 14

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:27

Is your name Leroy Jethro Gibbs? Do you work for NCIS? If not, you should call him. He seems to know how to get boats out of basements.

tigerisabelle 31

Tuesday 30 July 2013 19:27

Well, OP, you could just chop it half and super glue it back together. OR you could bulldoze a giant hole in your basement wall and take it out. :)

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Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away!

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 127

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again, saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 590

You deserved it 2 982

Today, my new girlfriend gave me head for the first time. It was so good, I swear she sucked my soul into another dimension! I was snapped back to earth by the thought that no one sucks that good without years and years of practice. Now I can’t stop thinking about all the other dicks she’s sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 1 611

Today, I, a man in his 40’s, wanted to rid myself of all back, thigh, buttock, and pubic hair. The first strip of pubic hair the tall 22 year-old girl yanked on almost made me cry, and almost made me knee her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 821

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 192

You deserved it 2 163

Today, after returning from some caveman type "men’s retreat" with his buddies, my husband is now refusing to cook or help out with the house and kids as it’s "women’s work." He also expects to be fetched beer on demand and referred to as "King" from now on. I don’t know rather to laugh or cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 604

You deserved it 308