Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I heard grunting noises from my brother's room, like when he's having a seizure, so I went in to help. And now I need brain bleach. FML
Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML
Today, despite asking her to stop countless times, my stepmom still barges into my room explosively and without warning. I faint when startled. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
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Top comments
MzZombicidal 36
You should never EVER just walk right into your parents room. >.< The reason why you did it is sweet, though. You're a good son. :)
mcleod 17
Always knock!
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Comments (90)
moniqueee18 13
Well that blows ;)
laden_swallow09 35
Booooo…
lil_ham1644 29
You don't know that
jeriaslovesyou 16
Two things, the door wasn't locked? And why didn't you knock? Either way this made me giggle xD
keiNan_fml 35
tell them to lock there door next time and don't forget to knock!!!!
tony1891 22
no more locked doors!!!
HarshD9619 34
You see that? Yeah, right there. That's a childhood getting ruined
nmw404 6
what are you...10? you should learn the sounds and respect the sound of privacy.
MzZombicidal 36
If OP doesn't have rougher sex, they won't know the sounds. Hell, maybe OP doesn't even actually HAVE sex. Also, he thought his mom was being beaten. That's reason enough to barge in.
mylifebitches666 18
don't lie, we all know you wanted to look.
MzZombicidal 36
Stop that.
SanyoBlackthorn 9
You're all idiots! Why are you scolding him for knocking the door?! He thought his mum was being beaten!
Tyrez 32
Well that sucks. Parents should try to be at least a little discreet when kids are home. Hopefully they will learn their lesson and turn it down a notch. I like going to r/eyebleach when I've seen something I regret.
SheepShoop_fml 20
I don't blame you. Nothing has enraged me more than seeing a loved one get physically hurt by their significant other. It is, however, fortunate that that wasn't the case. Sorry for your eyes, OP.
martin8337 36
I guess that you will never to be able to unsee or disremember all of that.