Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
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Top comments
bunnybean12321 18
on the bright side, at least theyre non toxic, so other than a tummy ache, she should be alright
c_wyld 21
I once got sick in kindergarden by eating a whole tube of glue, and then got sick all over my teacher.
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Comments (51)
kitzy2011 9
Was her face the same colour as the crayon?
Slasher2977 19
Or would you say , her face did have color to it ? Crayons are very colorful
ksks1234 33
I hate when people try to act superior to people who believe in organized religion. I have met plenty of intelligent people that believe in god.
twitchywaffles 26
At you listened. One time my teacher didn't listen and I threw up on a play dough castle. 50 dollars of non washable toys down the drain
writerchic85 26
At least her vomit will be bright and colorful
JKPwnage 27
And that, kids, is how natural selection works!
mosquito19 14
crayons are not toxic, she was probably upset because it tastes like shit.
ShannonBitt 29
You have a nurse at your church (or other religious meeting place)?
mrjiggles1992 18
Ah Sunday "school" a place you learn nothing. That kid should be taken else where and taught not to eat the effing crayons!! Parents poor only been to busy praying to teach their kid...
bunnybean12321 18
yeah cause it makes just as much sense thatbthe universe just happened to create itself?