Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my roommates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I bought a new cannister and it came with a label that said "Cookies" so I carefully scanned and photoshopped it to say "Coffee". Then I opened the cannister to find 11 double-sided bilingual labels -- including "Coffee". FML
Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Cat food is delicious I must admit. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML
Today, I was pouring milk into my coffee and, as it plooped into my mug, I noticed the expiration date on the jug passed two weeks ago. Nobody here drinks milk very often and I ran out of creamer, so I've been unknowingly drinking my coffee with curdled milk for the past three days. FML
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Top comments
KingGeorgeGal 12
Well, I hope they put 'sahne' and not 'samen' in your coffee!
saIty 17
How funny would it be if one of them pulled down their pants, and started beating their ferret?
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Comments (308)
kduubb 7
funny(:
purpyolo 0
your retarded, it's semen, not samen.
ryanebk 7
you're retarded.
Doortje 30
No, YOU are retarded. Did you even read the FML?
that1kid82 2
I'm sorry.. but are you stupid? It's in German.. in case you didn't read the FML..
Nerry_fml 0
guys don't get mad at her. she's blonde..she can't help it =[
tweetbaby14 18
45, you're a dumbass, reread the FML...
jillianmathers12 13
lmfao
ninjaCarebear 17
you're retarded. they're speaking German. you put the dumb in dumb-blonde.
kittennn 0
YOU are the retard. How about actually reading before making a comment.
soulfulemo 0
hey hey, easy on her you guys. she's got that lost look in her eyes in her photo..she could just be legitimately stupid, no questions asked.
jbsington 8
I'm sorry, it seems to me that you didn't finish the sentence. "Your retarded"... what? Allow me to finish it for you. Is what you meant to say, "Your retarded dolphin looks like a thumb"?
MsSoulReaper 27
I bet she made an account just to say that -_-
thetrollyoulike 6
well I purposely put both in my cup
eagles15 3
These Germans with their weird sperm drinking customs...
Mi24hind 0
Ah, cultural differences. Aren't they great?
davidlime 3
OMG YOUR LIFE IS RUINED !
TheCube 6
Lol, I'm sure they undestood.
tettles 0
I hope you meant sahne
RileyL29 0
Well at least you weren't at a coffee shop!...
chaoticnh 0
instead of wakin up to folgers. it's waking up to some piping hot ManChowder