Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML
Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML
Today, my daughter got home at midnight, two hours past curfew. My husband got all mad and accused her of dressing like a cheap whore. So firstly, he went way too far with the name calling and I’ll yell at him later, but also the dress she was wearing was mine, so I guess I’m a cheap whore too. FML
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Phil 0
We should probably get together.
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
Your username just made your comment so much more meaningful.
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Comments (107)
laideehawk 6
This is my Dave fml. Ever. ydi op! The walk of shame will get you everytime!
lilkim_fml 0
# 11 #19 and # 94 rules!!
Snooopy_fml 5
who said it was a skanky dress? there is such a thing as being sexy without being skany
kirbykobi 0
k
xNephilim 18
I love how people judge you for spending the night at someone's place... Y'all need to get over it. It's the 21st century. People have sex before marriage. No big deal. And well, OP, you should be happy that the mother didn't say, "Because she's a *****." At least she was being somewhat polite... Oh, not really. I mean, she was loud enough to be heard after all. But still, it's more than you can expect from a looooot of people.
afml6 3
man I'd **** them up like maybe it is a bad choice but who are they to voice their opinions? especially at a moment like that?
cherryblossomchi 4
well, you did hook up with just some guy...seems like a poor decision to me. if you don't want to be judged, don't sleep with random people...that's slutty
niswisk 3
i would burst out laughing! thats just funny as hell!
1_Crazy_Yang 0
**** off ********, your mom's a ***** and if you got a problem i'll put a ******* M-16 down your throat
ravenevercross 19
YDI.