Health: Jogging is bad for you

Jogging is bad for you

By Broken - 17/06/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 917

You deserved it 6 755

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Same thing different taste

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 271

You deserved it 9 701

By coloris - 03/08/2019 00:01

Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 131

STOP! BAD DOG!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 441

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 940

You deserved it 1 094

Running

By fmrunning - 25/03/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, I completed my 6-month training program for a track competition this weekend. I went to the park to run anyways because I needed some air after my boyfriend broke up with me. After one lap, my neighbor's 130 lb dog ran across the soccer field and jumped on me to say hi. My leg is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 643

You deserved it 4 553

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 386

You deserved it 4 658

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 114

By Radgirl - 28/04/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 360

You deserved it 58 502

Classic canine move

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 22:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 311

By Never Work With Animals or Children - 26/05/2012 11:06 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 209

You deserved it 2 629

jnic 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 3:32

Go figure, the people with the most inflated egos are bruised the most easily. The dog didn't beat you up, you tripped and it was an accident. It can happen to anyone, and you're far more likely to trip over a tiny fluffball of a dog than you are a huge, badass German Shepard. Stop using irrelevant circumstances as an excuse to brag about your strength and manliness.

happygoluckyhh 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 4:07

Why make it sound like the dog "beat you up"? It was an accident. It would have been a lot more simple if you said, "Today, I tripped over a dog's leach. FML" Get over it. Sorry about all of your cuts, though!

Comments

heywood 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 4:23

There REALLY needs to be a "Who cares?" button for some of these FMLs...

Bloodrush 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 4:41

beat up? more like ate shit on the cement....where the **** does you having to do martial arts come into play, i think you are looking for a reason to touch your dick at night...

Nakedsquirrel 5

Thursday 18 June 2009 5:00

I have two cats, and one of them has the very bad habit of running between the legs or underfoot while I'm on the stairs. They've gotten stepped on as a result, but I'm shocked that I haven't fallen yet. Though lately I've just stopped and let them run ahead of me if I hear their collar bells jingle, seeing as staying on one side of the hall/stairs didn't work.

master565 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 5:03

All dog are secretly exorcists

pdubbster24 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 6:11

http://thebestpranks.blogspot.com/ let the world know about your pranks and maybe get an idea or two

RichardMNixon 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 19:44

Yeah, falling was the first thing we learned in my class. I think the OP needs a better teacher.

VegasMade702 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 6:18

why are you talking about your lame ass cats when the FML was about a dog??? :::sigh:::

Dragonm137 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 6:50

this seems a bit odd. either you are a lower rank martial artist, you were caught completely offguard, or the martial art you take dosen't have falling techniques as part of the art. either way, not that impressive.

RhymePrime 7

Thursday 18 June 2009 6:52

You probably have brain damage from all those martial arts and decided to do an irrational and fallible little stunt because of it.

SunlightVeins 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 6:59

Martial Arts are for fighting humans, right? Tripping over a dog, an animal, because it is smaller and ran under you because it's below your eye level is only related because you "move around". Also, being into Martial Arts doesn't make you immune from these things, but reduces the chance. No one's perfect, so don't feel bad.