Jesus is my social media manager

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 894
You deserved it 3 833

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You've got to be fucking kidding me. This is where she has her priorities? You seriously need to talk with her.

For shaaaaame

Comments

For shaaaaame

If those things didn't exist, no one could get 100,000 likes in a day unless they talked about cancer.

Or boobs... 100,000 likes may be given for boobs every day. No one can argue that.

Boobs are in the same category as bacon. If you don't like those, you might not be human.

Sometimes I grab my boobs because, well…I can! Who doesn't like boobs?! Even women like boobs. Although I'm not entirely sure why. I've asked a few guys why they like boobs so much, and the best reply I have ever gotten was, "Because they're there! If you had a hand growing out of your forehead, we'd want to shake it!"

29 - They're the perfect toy! So jiggly and they can't break! I play with mine too sometimes :P

If I could thumb his up 1000000 times I would

I would shake it too

29 and 33- That's when I wish I was a girl.

Tell her to post kittens and puppys.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

2- Is that a legitimate question or did you stop thinking and just want to have a comment up top?

You've got to be fucking kidding me. This is where she has her priorities? You seriously need to talk with her.

A likewhore in the making. LYK DIS IF U CRIE LYK EVERYTIEM!

Yes, what an attention whore... Kind of like those people who make up fml's just to get posted.

Seriously? You guys have the nerve to talk about priorities and knowledge when you don't have enough of either to reply without all of the cursing and negativity? I hope you plan on attending the same classes you recommended for OP's daughter.

64 - By "all the cursing", I assume you mean each post's one usage of the word "whore". That's hardly enough to warrant that phrase, especially when used as "attention whore"...

Cussing doesn't exactly show how much knowledge you have. It can depending on how you use the words.

She can post about the kids in africa(and donate) and get lots of likes, better right?

I love your picture. So pretty! On topic : I agree. Sappy humanitarian statuses are better. :-)

It's funny how people think Facebook likes are important. All these "1 like = 1 punch", etc posts are annoying. I wish they would stop.

Likes for positive, uplifting posts shared to just your friends have merit. But yeah. The "1 like =" is just as annoying as "share if you agree!!".

Do you think those "for every like I'll give $5 to charity" statuses are legit? Would the user live up to his word?

The worst is "1 like=1 respect." What the hell is a respect? Can I buy them wholesale?

Why does not surprise me?

Why does not have proper grammar?

what is this Facebook you speak of?

It's a mind controlling slave driver led by Internet demon Mark Zuckerburg

9- The Facebook I knew was the one where you needed a college email to register. Now they have this thing where everybody and their grandma gets on, literally. Oh and don't worry, within a year or so that same comment will be thumbed up.

#9 it's god book

It's like the 'annoying Facebook girl' meme, but worse. "LIKE THIS IF U LUV GOD AS MUCH AS I DO. LOL!!!"

omg yes!! "SHARE IF U LUV GOD!! IGNORE IF U LUV SATIN!!!" (I spelled Satan wrong on purpose.)

I hate satin! I want argyle please!

34 - Your profile picture makes me want to rescind my vote this year.

"like to show respect" I fucking hate that.

Tim Tebow would not be proud.

He would do a combination of Tebow-ing and facepalming.

Either your daughter wants to meet new Christian friends, she thinks a large number of Facebook likes will increase her chances of getting into her newly-discovered heaven, or she's really desperate for attention. I'm going with the latter.