Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML
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Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML
Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML
Today, I have bronchitis. A few days ago, my doc prescribed antibiotics, which are helping, but also cause a really nasty upset stomach. I tell ya, violent coughing fits and severe diarrhea do NOT go well together. FML
Today, I'm on my second day of a week of antibiotics to treat a bad urine infection. Incidentally, the pills seem to be giving me extremely loud, frequent, gut-wrenchingly painful and smelly diarrhea. Only 5 more days to go. FML
Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a chest infection and given antibiotics to take. One of the side effects of the antibiotics is diarrhea. I haven't coughed once throughout the infection, but I sneezed just as I was ready to go out to the shops and now I need fresh underwear. FML
Today, I was prescribed two different medications. I was also informed that they will both give me diarrhea for the next two weeks. FML
Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML
Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML
Today, I started antibiotics for a UTI. Now, along with a burning sensation whenever I pee, I also need to try not to fall asleep, put up with the headaches, nausea, and lightheadedness from the tablets, all while working two jobs and being a parent. Six days to go. FML
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Top comments
Big_lama6 7
I'll just throw it out there, I'm sitting on the toilet too as I read this lol
trqskq 14
Shit happens.
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Comments (108)
evaki1 12
That's a shitty situation jokes and crappy puns ahead. (no pun intended)
ruabadfishtoo 0
1- *hits you*
evaki1 12
May I ask the reason?
Big_lama6 7
Permission denied
CherryLipBalm 1
*insert shitty situation joke* Just you wait, there is going to be one person who says it...
Mischief109 11
It would be horrible if cherry had that as their first comment but then edited it o.O
evaki1 12
She did.
Mischief109 11
Haha yea I know she did. Thats why I made my comment.
CherryLipBalm 1
Haha I was going to do it, but I decided not to be that one person:) who just gets buried in down votes:P
chelseaaababyyy 17
20 - Too late.
nerdstuck101 8
Obviously Chelseaaaaaa ...
Queen_Cosmos 7
Uh-Oh, ask your doctor for another medication to help with that.
OriginalimoaN 15
Or just eat some yogurt with live/active whatevers in it to counter act all the good stuff the antibiotics kill.
Meettitan 14
28- and the vicious circle continues.
Hershey903 5
If that's slight to the pharmacist, I'd hate to see what a lot means to her...
simmer333 0
Isn't that already an fml where her heart pills cause fainting and her fainting pills cause heart problems or something?
FlamingTacos 7
It could be that Lloyd Christmas put turbo lax in your tea. Or it could have been the medicine. Either one.
KevinBaird 2
Hey harry old buddy old pal, what da ya say you join me in a good luck toast before you head out.
diego2k5 6
maybe she had some of those flaming tacos before taking the meds. Tacos have that effect on people :)
trqskq 14
Shit happens.
bones_17 5
When you so the word "poop" your mouth makes the same motions your butthole does while pooping.... So that's that...
bones_17 5
Say*^
RedPillSucks 31
How would you know that? Do you look at your (or someone elses) butthole while pooping?
Monster27 20
Tell him he is full of shit! 90 minutes of sweat and agony is a long time! This is one of those times when you probably ended up naked on the crapper! haha
onlychildFTW 33
I didn't know people still called it the John.
DespairFaction 11
Sounds like a good time to reverse mount and shower.
RedPillSucks 31
With OPs luck, someone will flush the toilet midway though the shower enema.
eternal7 6
Apparently OP is the one full of shit.
mnfer 7
81 - Not anymore.
TheDrifter 23
90 minutes? How about a courtesy flush?
TrueTriage 16
I don't think the person would be ******** that whole time. If they were, call world records.
annie_nk 22
Not a record to be proud of lol
JoeRogansBEARD 15
55 Stan's dad says different
swankmrpancake 8
I would be proud to hold that record. It would probably also mean one of two things you have the worlds longest small intestine or you have enough butt control to never have to worry about being ass raped.
megan_shelhamer 4
Oy L
BuffaloSabres134 8
They always sugar coat the severe pain you'll have to go through, it's their job. I don't think you'd listen if they said you'll be on the toilet for almost 2 hours straight.
Welshite 39
I love how in commercials they speed talk through the side-effects so that you can barely make out the words, or the extremely small fine-print at the bottom of the screen. I would have thought pharmacists would have a bit more compassion than the commercials and explain the side-effects a little more thoroughly to people. I guess I had too much faith in humanity...
BuffaloSabres134 8
Lol You're right "have a better night sleep, side effects include weight gain, dizziness, blood clots, and in rare but serious cases death."
annie_nk 22
Like the "side effects" of birth control. Stroke, heart attack, death, etc.
BunchieRules 31
In many cases, the side effects completely reverse what the medicine is prescribed for. For example, there are certain depression pills with suicide as a side effect. Or that FML where OP could either faint or risk a stroke.
me1983 0
The amount of times I've started to explain and people don't give a shit... Too rushed to move there double parked car. If people actually listened! It's no wonder we try and quickly squeeze 5 scone interventions in!!
Big_lama6 7
I'll just throw it out there, I'm sitting on the toilet too as I read this lol
TrueTriage 16
Reading FMLs on the toilet is a classic past time.
crazycatlady5 6
I was too 37 - it is just something to do to keep you occupied
swankmrpancake 8
I'm sure every mobile user is and even some of the non mobile ones as well.
yumyumpoptart 16
I'm on the toilet now reading this as well
brittanywashere 14
I am too! Lol
dfens 8
Girls with class don't shit.