Kids, Sex and Awkward: I've seen enough

I've seen enough

By worst uncle ever - 12/11/2022 22:00

Today, my sister and brother in law went on holiday, so my 3 year-old nephew is staying with me while they’re gone. He walked in on me and my boyfriend while he was eating me out. It’s been an hour and he won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 552

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Same thing different taste

By wtf bro - 20/05/2015 08:45 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 3 637

By ElamentalAngel - 06/05/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 337

You deserved it 83 894

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 844

By fml - 07/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 701

You deserved it 24 991

Overreaction much?

By whyyyyyyyy - 19/10/2022 12:00

Today, after a long dry spell, my girlfriend started coming on to me in the living room early in the morning. Just as things were getting good, her toddler rushed in. Now she's crying in her room, and he won't stop sobbing and asking, "Why was your wee-wee in Mommy's mouth?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 392

By Anonymous - 15/03/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 932

You deserved it 6 212

In flagrante delicto

By Matasha - 19/04/2021 23:00

Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that it’s been 2 hours and my daughter won’t stop bawling, or the fact that my husband threw the biggest fit, because I “had to come home too early.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 135

Demon child

By never again! - 22/06/2021 02:01

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 126

By LiLGeek - 12/01/2009 15:37 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 638

You deserved it 9 207

Kinda heartless, but OK

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 16:01

Today, it’s been almost a month and a half of no intimacy between my boyfriend and me. To spice things up, I started going down on him. He burst out crying after a couple of minutes because he "misses his sister." The funeral was nearly 2 months ago already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 3 151

Anderling 32

Saturday 12 November 2022 22:35

You really couldn’t wait until the kid was asleep and you’d locked the door?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 13 November 2022 1:21

I haven't stopped crying, either. That happens when I can't stop puking.

Comments

Anderling 32

Saturday 12 November 2022 22:35

You really couldn’t wait until the kid was asleep and you’d locked the door?

cacheson 41

Saturday 12 November 2022 23:17

Maybe they did wait, and can’t afford a place with locks on the interior doors

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 13 November 2022 1:21

I haven't stopped crying, either. That happens when I can't stop puking.

poopface82 19

Sunday 13 November 2022 2:23

What, you never heard of Cocomelon? YDI.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 663

You deserved it 39 743

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 698

You deserved it 3 323

The Top

Today, after having worked two jobs for months to save up for a big vacation, I came home to find my hard-earned money replaced by my boyfriend's brand new motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 526

You deserved it 6 510

Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 688

You deserved it 7 891

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 364

You deserved it 7 612

Today, I was on a FaceTime call with a guy I like and my cat, out of nowhere, attacks my head and snatches my wig off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 871

Today, I learned the hisses of my 3 cats so I can tell who starts the fights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 600

You deserved it 3 402

Today, as always, I'm not allowed to like anything, be it a food, type of music, TV show, book, video game, or even a color, without my parents asking me to explain why I like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 168