Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML
Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, while picking up dirty laundry I bolted up so fast that I broke my elbow. I sat in Urgent Care for 4 hours to be put in a sling at the same hospital I work at. I’m now stuck in a sling for who knows how long and it’s all because the towel rack impact was so hard it broke my elbow. FML
Today, as I was putting some dishes away, I spilled water on the floor. While walking around the dishwasher, I slipped on said water, and after going to urgent care, found out I tore my meniscus. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML
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Top comments
stolencookie 17
And yet you told the world...
BunBunBabe 8
Hahaha! Oh well, almost everyone wipes out from running in socks on a wood floor at one point in their life, it's so fun it's worth the risk
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Comments (123)
jagsville 8
A little late for that advice, don't you think?
megamandude455 10
*Hikari chan meme* Doctor tells OP not to tell anyone, OP tells the whole world.
nefertitiqueen3 0
And to fml you go lol.
kuges 0
I agree completely!!!
rubberduckie94 13
Hardwood floors are a bitch. I know also from experience
edfd3212 1
I mean...doctors are smart people.
Lily_lops95 0
I would tell everyone...literally. I would make a website. Text all the contacts. Buy a cat.
sierrataz 3
I would have lied to the doctors. Who really had to know but you?
DocBastard 40
Yes, lying to your doctor is a fantastic idea. It really helps him treat you faster and better.
Nbrandwine 7
Doctors advice will never lie.
pibbman 1
so you put it on the internet for everyone?? that's a great way keep it on the dl