Animals: Harmless, huh?

Harmless, huh?

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 828

You deserved it 7 561

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Same thing different taste

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 327

You deserved it 15 406

By The_HML - 24/03/2009 02:48 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 997

You deserved it 11 170

By wayne - 07/12/2011 10:28 - New Zealand

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 725

You deserved it 3 558

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 010

You deserved it 11 775

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 785

You deserved it 10 802

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 626

By michellekel - 04/07/2009 12:10 - France

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 632

You deserved it 6 968

By Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 944

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 125

You deserved it 18 101

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 136

Mico3587 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:02

lol dolphins

Spinach 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:04

Nice. Dolphins enjoy a good joke like the rest of us.

Comments

arienh4 0

Friday 17 April 2009 21:55

*moves towards instructor* You were saying?

yeahreally 6

Friday 17 April 2009 21:57

#41 FTW and lmfao!

Ohnoitslindsay 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:07

#34 is correct. And Lawl dolphin rape let's believe everything we see on Utoob! The dolphin is more intelligent than a lot of these commenters.

dwights 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:20

number 3 ftw

survivalism 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:22

Wow, I can't believe a wild animal got upset that you invaded its space. Certainly, that has never happened before ever in history.

Dreika 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:24

See, another reason why dolphins should be canned with the tunas!

fox_girl24 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:28

AHH! thats so scary! Thats like... my biggest fear in the world!

shananigans 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:29

#38 is my hero. #47- Really? Your biggest fear in the world is that you're going to be attacked by a dolphin? Interesting.

vee_baby 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:32

Hahahaha, does this story remind anyone else of Kevin Hart's stand-up comedy?

ndvorsky 4

Tuesday 25 October 2011 2:21

Reminds me of "king of the hill" except that hank got raped not bit and then he used the dolphin to rape the trainer it was funny

eitak 0

Friday 17 April 2009 22:46

19 LMFAO OMG. hahah nah Steve Irwin was a great guy.. Erwin?

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You deserved it 353

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You deserved it 4 092

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I agree, your life sucks 50 101

You deserved it 8 078

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I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 202

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I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 215

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I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 142