Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML
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Top comments
bornaunicorn 12
Moms will always "spare a square".
cmayer 20
Sometimes you get pets before you fall on hard times.
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Comments (83)
bettyboop428 24
I have done this so much that my mom just buys the big package now so we can share. She even switched to the kind of toilet paper I use.
Kitsi 14
I clicked YDI, not because i do not have sympathy fro being low on cash, but for being underhanded and stealing from family. I guarantee, since you are on good enough terms to go to her house, if you would have ASKED like a damn adult, she would have given you some or bought you some. I hate stealing.....
worldclassrager 41
It works right?
ManicGypsy 22
Don't steal TP from your mom, go to your local hospital and steal it from there. They always keep extra rolls in the rest rooms. :)
Really_SIGH 7
Hey op, why not just stick it in your head, you obviously have shit for a brain anyways :p
cayaenator 6
well i just tell my mom I'm taking a couple rolls before i leave but usually raid the fridge, freezer, and cupboards also...
albertoac87 2
Did the same thing back in college only I get it from the school library.
emmyrr 3
You could just ask? It's your mom
Kkkdawg 27
Well op this sucks for you. I must have pretty awesome parents/grandparents. When I was moved out (back home for medical reasons now) every time I'd visit they'd send me away with care packages and ask if I was ok and whatnot. They'd give me grocery money and supplies knowing full well I was capable. It really makes me appreciate them more. But there's only one of me, so I might be special.
boyznum1 1
we've all been there