Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML
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Top comments
bornaunicorn 12
Moms will always "spare a square".
cmayer 20
Sometimes you get pets before you fall on hard times.
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Comments (83)
0h_Boy 26
Did you ever think to ask?
cdkitty94 6
Yeah, I watched my cousin do this a few weeks ago. Personally I'd just ask because they'd notice a whole package missing but hey whatever..
Ibeatmyself 3
I feel you on that ive I taken the TP from my work when I get low on cash and we have the really big rolls
WonkeyDonkey 10
Seriously, what's wrong with you? You have a tongue in your head, whats wrong with being honest and asking for a roll. Toilet papers a necessity not a luxury and I'm sure your Mother would of helped you out. Honestly if I was your mother and caught you sneaking shit out of my house, I would of kicked your ass!
madamspammalot 15
For a second there, I thought you were going to suggest that OP do something else with his tongue... Ick!
bmazzagatti 4
For a roll of tp? Being there for your children and helping them out ring a bell? I'd smack the shit out of u for calling yourself a mother if u did that
allisadawn91 8
Been there done that
wardie 12
It could be worse, you haven't hit rock bottom until you're smuggling toilet paper out of your local wetherspoons... It was a low moment. :(
bmazzagatti 4
We've all done that
deemarie13 14
I bet there are very few college students that haven't done that while visiting home.
mr_jack_meoff 5
Stop at the local McDonald's, they have plenty to spare. (When they aren't making burgers out of it)
fantasyworld 39
We've all had to find ways to get certain items.