Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
It's funny how if this was a guy doing it to his girlfriend, people would be insulting OP to no end.. Instead people are mocking the boyfriend. No one likes being called chunky, or fat. Especially if he's one of those people who work really, really hard on their bodies.
NonComedogenic 2
awww
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (184)
judices 0
Hmmmm does steroids ring a bell??? or he's just a complete Fagget
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
L2Spell homophobe
j_cat187 20
Fagget: British def.: A cigar. US: A hated homosexual. Southpark Def: people who ride Harleys.
j_cat187 20
don't tiese the fatty. hey spelling and grammar tool dosent suck ass.
fizzpoplady 3
Fail.
DocBastard 40
j_cat - no. Just, no. Please stop commenting forever. Love, Everyone
WallyTheWombat 0
Did he butcher that sentence on purpose?
Keyman1212 14
Ach, mien Gott!! The bastard doctor lives! It's been hell without you around.
Wandering_Ninja 8
Never date someone who is to in shape, all they do is talk about their body.
Oreogasm 5
in that case, never date people who are vegetarians or vegans either. all they do is talk about animal rights and all that other bs.
James64138 26
That's not true and I'm guessing you're not in shape since you're trashing the people who are.
McAninch35 9
"Never date fat people, cuz all they do is talk about food." Stereotypes are stupid, no matter what.
ohcomeonsrsly 6
lol the interesting thing about stereotypes though is that they came from somewhere...... they are accurate often enough to stay alive as a stereotype. that being said, I only condone stereotypes in harmless jokes that people shouldn't take too seriously.
ReynshineCutting 10
Being around bodybuilders on a regular basis, I know how narcissistic they can be, however they don't spend every second talking about their bodies. They talk about their bodies, food, supplements, and the gym just like anyone else would with a hobby or job they're really into. For most of them, bodybuilding is a second job. Trust me, I'm married to one. He's in the gym 4 days a week and poses in front if the mirror every night, and last year his buddy lived with us (who is freaking huge) so I know what they're like. They do have lives though too so it's not all they talk about. Besides, it's well worth listening to when you're with such a sexy man ;)
Shadow4i5 3
my gf is hella skinny n she talks about food all the time
confusey 2
Maybe he should work on getting his emotions in shape..
youstupidwillis 0
I think ur boyfriend is a buff ******
olive47_fml 0
thanks for a mental picture....
sxe_beast 11
I'm not sure why, but your buff ****** comment made me think of blue waffles =C *dips head into acid*
altenita92 0
why are u ppl asking if he has a penis? just because he has a penis doesnt mean he wont cry quit being ignorant!
everybodyluvsMEN 0
Man, why you so ign'nt? stop being so ign'nt!
Mitcha857 0
we are all basically saying that OPs bf needs to man up and grow a pair of balls and a penis and quit acting like a emotional wreck of a woman
James64138 26
And you, 84 need to stop acting like the insecure douche that you are. Some people are sensitive about their looks and maybe you shouldn't say something ignorant just because you're insecure with yourself.
fucentarmal 1
in russia, boyfriend pokes you. ydi
iSurf_fml 8
More like, "In Soviet Russia, boyfriend insults you." It's not funny 'cause it's true. Where did poke come from?
Commander223 9
The FML re-re.
iSurf_fml 8
Disregard "Where did poke come from?".
iAmScrubs 19
Body Builders are very sensitive about their body. Pauly D may look like a tough guy, but deep down he enjoys lollipops, rainbows, unicorns, and impaling Teddy Bears onto spikes.
mad_hatter0666 22
lol
ShockingShelby 0
Atleast he's not afraid to show emotion.
nleighane 0
well if it were about something else I'd agree with you, but he's crying because he's "getting a little chuncky."
kaitlynnmarie97 0
I agree with you. at least he's not afraid to show his emotions
iSurf_fml 8
Is he Mr. SlimBody??